


Seasons of Cardassia

by Aidaran, StarTravel



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Adopted Children, Cardassian Culture, Cardassian flirting, Celebrations, Domestic, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Earth, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Growing Old Together, Guilt, Healing, Holidays, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Reconstruction, Sweet, Traditions, aggressive flirting, becoming part of the Federation, war memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidaran/pseuds/Aidaran, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: A series of domestic stories about Garak and Julian growing together in Cardassia, as the planet recovers. Going together to festivals, dancing in the rain, cooking, raising children, visiting old friends... Their story through little moments until old age.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 30
Kudos: 51
Collections: Star Trek: Just in Time Fest





	1. Dancing in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Cardassian rain may not be like the ones on Earth, but it has its charm.
> 
> \-------
> 
> _"For starters, I wouldn't say this is a storm, love. Our shower has more strength!"  
>  “Of course your Earth would have terrible weather, I don’t know why I didn’t imagine you enjoy having buckets of water fall on you. Come sit next to me inside, where it’s warm and dry.” Garak called from the kitchen, sighing a little as he sat on a stool. It wouldn’t do for Julian to catch a cold.  
> "Oh, come on, let me enjoy a bit of rain after the terrible heat of this afternoon. In fact, you know what?" He entered and pulled Garak to his feet. "Let's go dance outside! Under the rain! Like in that movie not even you could criticise to death!"  
> _

"You call this the ‘rainy season’?" Julian tried hard not to laugh, he really did. But the way everybody rushed to cover as the pathetic raindrops fell was... Hilarious to say the least.

It was just a bit more than dew, a fine film of water being carried around by the never stopping wind of Cardassia. Still, it was a lot more than that region was accustomed to, and definitely a lot more than what Cardassia had experienced in the last months after the bombardment and the climate collapse that came afterward. It was a blessing coming from the sky, but on a planet inhabited by lizards that loved the sun, and it was more than they usually enjoyed outside of their bathtubs. And certainly it was colder, too. Julian had discovered water heaters were a must in every house, and even for teeth washing the temperature was decidedly warm.

“And what would you call it, then?” Garak asked as Julian watched the rain fall from their porch, practically inching out into the monsoon outside. He shivered when a drop fell on his nose.

"For starters, I wouldn't say this is a storm, love. Our shower has more strength!"

“Of course your Earth would have terrible weather, I don’t know why I didn’t imagine you enjoy having buckets of water fall on you. Come sit next to me inside, where it’s warm and dry.” Garak called from the kitchen, sighing a little as he sat in a stool. It wouldn’t do for Julian to catch a cold.

"Oh, come on, let me enjoy a bit of rain after the terrible heat of this afternoon. In fact, you know what?" He entered and pulled Garak to his feet. "Let's go dance outside! Under the rain! Like in that movie not even you could criticise to death!"

“The movie was fictional, dear. I’m a flesh and blood cardassian who hates the rain.” Garak said even as he let Julian drag him towards the door, the other man giddy as though he was a child again. Julian would one day be the death of him, he was sure, but for now, he was content letting him tossle his carefully arranged hair as he dragged him outside. 

"I’ll help you get your hair back in place afterwards and don't tell your political adversaries, don't worry." Julian spun under the water, soaking Garak's shoes as he jumped into a puddle.

Garak snorted as he took the lead in an improvised dance, carefully stepping around any area that looked as though it might sink. “And who will fix yours?”

"Well, I was thinking about asking a Cardassian to help me, but there seem to be no others around but you." He let Garak lead him, dancing as if he was in one of those old movies he liked so much. Even his clothes were floating around him, thanks to Garak's mastery. He had resigned himself to being dressed with whatever Garak could get that seemed softer and lighter than his uniform.

“Of course, it’s a pity that I’ll have to see to it. Yours gets so unruly after you wash it, it really is a lot of work.” Garak led him across the walkway and toward the garden, watching as the droplets slid down Julian’s face. He noticed the human looking up. “Don’t try and catch any in your mouth, dear.”

"Too late, I'm afraid. It doesn't taste like Earth's." He grimaced at the weird, slightly sulfuric taste, but then smiled wickedly. "You love how unruly my hair is. All of it."

Around them, other Cardassians gathered to watch, and Garak couldn't help feeling very self conscious, especially as some children started to imitate them. His garden had a fence quite lower than he’d like, thanks to the unending winds that had destroyed the original one. It was easy for them to climb it and move their little dance to the street, neither losing a step.

Garak carefully spun Julian around again, keeping his attention on Julian’s eyes and the way they sparkled in excitement at the dance. He shook his head, bemused. Oh, he was sure they’d be the talk of all of the city the next day. So undignified. “Is rain considered romantic on Earth then?”

"Yes, especially summer rains." He closed his eyes, letting Garak catch him as he fell backwards dramatically. He knew he would. "We may be teaching Cardassia rain can be romantic too."

Garak sighed as he leaned back in an imitation of something he saw in one of Julian’s older films. He thought they called it a dip on Earth. Whatever it was, the human seemed happy, and kept looking and smiling at the little audience that was gathering around them. He always loved being the center of attention.

“Maybe, though if everyone complains about having to hang their clothes up later, you’ll be to blame, my dear doctor.”

"I can live with that blame, if it means making your people loosen up a bit." 

Under roofs, some Cardassians improvised a melody with their voices and instruments. The melody was a bit eerie, with that formal air that characterized all Cardassian music, but the rhythm was getting faster. Some people even dared clap after Julian did it, never stopping the movement of his feet. Cardassia was still barren after the war, but giggles could be heard around them for the first time in months.

“Now look what you’ve done, you’ve turned this into a concert.” Garak chided as he started moving them in time with the music. 

"How terrible. Is there any way for me to atone for it?" He let himself fall into Garak’s arms with ease, only to rise back up and keep dancing. Here, not hiding his augmentation anymore, he was a lot more graceful than he’d ever been on the station.

“You’ll have to make dinner tonight and let me read poetry for you for an hour. Maybe two. Cardassian poetry. Preloc’s Unillustrated Green Book, to be exact.”

"Are you sure you want to risk me cooking tonight? You know how dangerous that can be." he spun with grace and grinned at the people around them, timidly moving under the rain. It was barely a dance by Julian standards, but the crowd was slowly getting confident, improvising or mimicking the couple’s movements.

“Hmm, does rain somehow lessen your skills?” Garak mused as he watched them too, unable to keep a small smile from gracing his features. 

Maybe there was something to dancing in the rain after all. Having all eyes on him was still unnerving, but if that helped Cardassia heal, he was ready for that sacrifice too. Giving them happiness was just another form of service, he realized. Survival and security could only give so much to a planet if there was not also a reason to live, to be in the moment. To laugh at something new.

"Why, are you saying I ever had cooking skills?" Suddenly Julian took the lead, pushing Garak in a complex motion that got them right to the middle of the small crowd that was trying to imitate their movements.

Garak just managed to hang on, letting Julian change the pace as he led him across the street and back toward their porch. He smirked as he was turned swiftly a few times. “You haven’t managed to ruin red leaf tea in weeks. I’d call that progress.”

"I'd hardly call that being a good cook." He pressed his forehead to Garak's, eliciting some gasps from their improvised audience. That was a really bold show of affection.

Garak raised an eye ridge but didn’t move his forehead away, gaze softening as they moved a few steps back, their rhythm slowing down. “I didn’t say good, but no one improves without practice.”

"Ah, so what you're doing is trying to train me? the nerve of you, my dear almost husband." He kissed him the human way this time, and wondered how many Cardassians would notice it was the same gesture.

Garak heard a few gasps and saw some confused stares, snorting softly as he broke the kiss but still held Julian close. Yes, certainly some of them knew, and those who didn’t were being promptly informed of what it was. There was no doubt now they’d be starring in all the rumors tomorrow. 

“Hmm, then that’s not what I should be doing? My mistake, dear.”

"I thought you were teaching me, not training." Julian snorted as they entered the house.

"Same idea, but don't worry dear, I'll keep giving you pointers and positive reinforcement. I don't like burnt food anymore than you do."

"Maybe you could cook and I take care of other things." Julian pressed Garak against the door, again touching his forehead. Out there, the music continued, and Garak could have sworn there was giggling.


	2. Cardassian Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian doesn't always feel homesick, but it's winter in his homeland, and he can't help longing.
> 
> \-------
> 
> _"Ah, yes, I remember now, all the station would exchange gifts those days."_
> 
> _“Yes, to show their appreciation for one another. I got you a present every year.”_
> 
> _"I still have every single one of them, even that awful fabric cutter Quark ripped you off with." Garak smiled fondly at the memory. "And I believe I gave you a Ferengi poetry book in retaliation."_
> 
> _“You did, even though I was trying to give you something nice.” Julian scoffed as he shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It’s not my fault I don’t know what a good fabric cutter looks like.”_
> 
> _"Well, how was I supposed to know it was supposed to be something nice? I thought the tradition was about practicing evil jokes on each other. Not my fault you have so many on your planet." Garak's eyes shone. It was obvious he had not confused the dates._

Julian huffed on the couch, legs crossed and rereading the same padd for the third time that week. He felt he just couldn’t focus, not with everything that was going through his head. It was a silly thing, it really was, and still.

"If you're annoyed about something, you can tell me, except if it is about my culinary suggestions for today." Garak chimed from the kitchen, where he was trying to season their meager meal. Good food was hard to come by on a post war planet, but he did the best he could.

“I’m not annoyed about anything except the horrid weather.”

"You complained in summer, you complain in autumn. I think you just enjoy complaining, my dear." Julian could almost feel Garak's eyes rolling on his skull as he talked. 

“It’s winter on Earth. Well, on the side of Earth I was born.” Julian sounded surprisingly mournful, even to his own ears. He curled up more around his padd, taking in the familiar words and rhymes of a Winter’s Tale. It seemed even sillier now he was saying it.

"Yes, I believe it is. It's a bit hard to keep track of your seasons when your years are so short. Really, only 365 revolutions to make a year? You can’t get anything done like that."

“Not when you’re from there.” Julian sighed a bit as he ran a hand over the page, shifting awkwardly on the couch. “Not when it’s a holiday.” Not when you’ve been engineered to be able to keep perfect track of everything.

"And your winter holiday was... not halloween, I think. Valentine? No, that is wrong too. Which one was it? also, can you help me with these greens?”

“Yes, yes.” Julian started slicing up the greens, evenly and methodically as he rocked back and forth on his feet, playfully bumping Garak’s shoulder every now and then. 

"Dear, I still don't understand what's so bad about Earth being in winter."

“It’s not the season, it’s what we’re missing.” Julian scoffed as he kept chopping, face screwed up in annoyance.

"And what would that be?"

“The holiday, you oversized lizard. The one I’ve been dragging you to for the past 3 years.”

"You dragged me to lots of them, but I believe in winter there was... the short day holiday - or was it Bajoran?, and Christmas."

“Christmas is the one from Earth, yes.” Julian answered shortly. “Or New Year — that’s also important, though the exact start isn’t consistent from culture to culture. It started off as a religious holiday, but several parts of my planet adopted it as a way of celebrating with your loved ones.”

"And you're missing the holiday."

“Yes, a bit. It wasn’t — I’m not a believer, but I liked the togetherness of it. The sharing of gifts and warmth.”

"Ah, yes, I remember now, all the station would exchange gifts those days."

“Yes, to show their appreciation for one another. I got you a present every year.”

"I still have every single one of them, even that awful fabric cutter Quark ripped you off with." Garak smiled fondly at the memory. "And I believe I gave you a Ferengi poetry book in retaliation."

“You did, even though I was trying to give you something nice.” Julian scoffed as he shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It’s not my fault I don’t know what a good fabric cutter looks like.”

"Well, how was I supposed to know it was supposed to be something nice? I thought the tradition was about practicing evil jokes on each other. Not my fault you have so many on your planet." Garak's eyes shone. It was obvious he had not confused the dates.

The water started to boil, and Garak dropped something akin noodles inside it. It was not his favorite choice of a dish, but it was relatively cheap and easy to come by. And tasteless enough for Julian not to complain too much.

“Hmm, considering those are months apart, I imagine you simply thought I’d been naughty and not nice enough for something good.”

"Well, you're naughty for sure." Garak gave him a suggestive look that made Julian laugh.

“Am I? And here I thought I was the nice one.” Julian looked mock-appalled, gently jabbing Garak with his finger.

Garak ignored him, instead focusing on the boiling dinner and stirring it. "No, no, I am the one that tries to keep this household respectable."

“Respectable and nice aren’t the same thing though, dear. Unless you consider Quark nice.”

"Nor I consider him respectable."

“He is by Ferengi standards.”

"Don't say such ugly things, my dear." Garak took the greens out of his hands and put them in the pot.

Julian leaned on his shoulder, watching him cook. His bad mood was beginning to dissipate, replaced by that domestic peace he never thought he was cut out to have, and yet couldn’t imagine being away from.

“Hmm, then who else would make your nice list, if your own husband doesn’t?” Julian asked with a smirk as he handed him one of Garak’s favorite spices.

"And who says I have a list?"

“Someone who knows you very well.”

"The only lists I have are the ones related to construction and repairing, lately."

“How utterly charmless.” Julian sighed as he held the spice back with a shake of his head.

"Yes, I really thought our life here would be a bit fancier."

Julian leaned on the counter, sighing again. “Hmm, me too. But I’m not upset about that. I’m upset that we’re not doing anything to celebrate. No songs, no sad gifts of things we found outside, no lights.”

"Soon will be the sunrise festival, and there will be plenty of songs, you'll see." Garak took the plates to the table, and they didn't talk about it until Julian came back from work.

“Hmm, the sunrise festival. Is that to celebrate the coming of whatever passes as winter here?”

"Like I said, you'll see."

It was almost nightfall by the time Julian came back home, and the first thing he noticed was that something was smelling really good. He was tired, dirty, hopeless after a long shift in the hospital, but coming back home to whatever Garak had planned for the day was always welcomed.

Julian pushed through the door, raising an eyebrow as the scent hit him. “Making something special?”

"Maybe. I've been doing a bit of a reading and apparently ginger is a very interesting ingredient. Would you mind going out to check the green berries? I need you to pick some for me, if you might."

When Julian went out, the berry bush was sparsely but consciously decorated. It was obvious Garak had not managed to find too many things to make it look like a tree, but he had put all the effort he could. No lights, but the star on the top seemed handmade, and colorful fabric was wrapped around the small plant in complicated braids and patterns, making it seem like wreaths. To Julian’s eyes, it was the most beautiful tree in the world.

Julian stared at the little thing with a wide grin, eyes tearing up a little as he brushed a hand against one of the decorations. He ran his hand across one of the small twigs sticks haphazardly covering the bush. “Elim!”

"Yes, my dear? Are you finding any trouble to pick the bushes? I need the berries to cook."

Julian ran inside, grabbing Garak by the waist and pressing several quick kisses across his face, as though he was too excited to know what to focus on. He knew he seemed like a puppy when he did that, but he also knew Garak didn’t mind. “You’re ridiculous. Utterly so.”

"Is that how you thank me for all my troubles? now, give me the berries so these poor ginger cardassians are not blind. Look at them, poor guys, no eyes."

“Yes, yes - here.” Julian was practically giddy as he handed over the berries, staring down at the little gingerbread figures. Then his eyes sparkled. “You’ve been planning this. It would’ve taken you days to source that much ginger.”

"My, you really like to accuse me of things. Also, can you check the oven? Since it's not that cold here, I prepared food from the southern part of your world as well, so the sweet bread and the kings’ bagel may be about to be ready. I hope the custard cream and meringue are of your liking, as I only had the recipes to go by."

“You’re unbelievable.” Julian's voice was warm and affectionate as he took the sweet bread out of the oven, stealing a quick kiss as he laid out the table. “I didn’t even mention Christmas until today.”

"Dear, subtlety has never been your strong point. Also, please make sure to have 10 plates set, as from what I researched the tradition requires a gathering so I took the liberty of inviting your hospital colleagues. Hence, the large amount of food I’m preparing."

Julian’s eyes widened and he stole another kiss before he started setting the table, practically bouncing on his feet. He hummed to himself, stealing glances at Garak every so often. Even the table decorations were right there, ready to be put in place. How the hell had Garak managed to get his claws on all these?

“What did I do to deserve to be so lucky?”

"I wouldn't call it lucky to end up with a grumpy cardassian. Help me with the decoration, I may have broken a bit of a shady deal with some Ferengi to get candles too."

“A thoughtful, caring cardassian who plans whole parties without their oblivious human even noticing.”

"Ah, but you make it so easy, my dear. I had all the materials laying around for days."

“What?” Julian almost tripped over himself that time, eyes wide as he took the candles out of the box. 

Now that he thought about it, that box had been there for days, and so had been several others. Usually, the boxes came and went, but these particular ones had been in the house for days, and Garak hadn’t even paid attention to them, saying they’d be retrieved later.

"You can't tell me you didn't notice I was receiving deliveries every day, my dear!"

“I thought they were related to the rebuilding efforts!”

Garak placed a little salad on the table, smiling devilishly. "Ah, since when do you believe anything I say?"

“I — why would I think you were throwing a party? I didn’t even think you liked winter holidays on the station.”

"Oh, no, I definitely hated all of them, but you seemed to really enjoy them."

“I — well, maybe we can make some traditions we both enjoy here.”

"Well, I for one am really enjoying cooking. Real festive food is definitely superior to replicated one, and using my garden’s produce is certainly very satisfying."

Julian smirked a bit at that, laying out a few of the gingerbread cookies. “So you didn’t like that kanar cake I replicated for you?”

"It was... interesting. But just in case I refrained to add alcohol to any of today's baked goods. Food is food, alcohol is alcohol. I never understood that habit of your species of mixing them together."

“Fair enough. I’ll pour us some drinks.”

"You'll have to wait for the guests, I'm afraid. They're the ones in charge of it."

“Of course. Until then I’ll do some last minute decorating.”

"And dear?"

“Yes, love?”

"I hope you won't mind if I suggest something different to painting eggs for easter. Reccova birds are a protected species after all." Garak smirked as Julian stole another quick kiss, inexplicably holding a bit of the greens over their head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love!


	3. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cardassian flirting is not Miles' favorite thing in the world... especially when a grumpy Castellan is in his living room.
> 
> _"Find an excuse for Garak to be at home today at 5!" He almost shouted when the image of the older Cardassian appeared on the screen, forgetting to even say hello. "He thinks I'll be on Earth one more week, staying at the O’Brien’s, so he won't believe I got home so early! You have absolutely no idea the gifts I’ve brought for him."_
> 
> _Parmak stared at him for a few seconds before he started laughing, eyes wide and full of mirth. The one time Julian had tried to be sneaky, and this happened. “Only you two.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a real story of a couple that decided to surprise their significant one by visiting... at the same time.

Julian excitedly sat on the runabout, wondering how shocked Garak would be when he came home to find Julian there making him tea and a table full of wonderful treats. He’d finished his presentation at the conference on the first day, and staying to wine and dine with the rest of the Starfleet didn’t have the same appeal that it used to. He guessed that was what people called home sickness, as he’d been missing his husband and his planet all the time he was away, and all his shopping had revolved around things to gift Garak with.

He called Parmak as soon as he opened the door and finished setting the table. Yes, this was definitely perfect and romantic. A tree, sweets, spicy food, beautiful silk. He’d spent more time preparing the surprise than talking about medicine this time, and Miles had rolled his eyes more than once at his rambling about Cardassia.

"Find an excuse for Garak to be at home today at 5!" He almost shouted when the image of the older Cardassian appeared on the screen, forgetting to even say hello. "He thinks I'll be on Earth one more week, staying at the O’Brien’s, so he won't believe I got home so early! You have absolutely  _ no idea _ the gifts I’ve brought for him."

Parmak stared at him for a few seconds before he started laughing, eyes wide and full of mirth. The one time Julian had tried to be sneaky, and this happened. “Only you two.”

"Uh... what happened?" The fact that he was laughing indicated there wasn't an emergency, he decided, but the fact he was laughing at a demand as simple as  _ tell my husband to come home  _ was a bit worrisome. “Is there any problem?”

“Garak isn’t here. He’s on a shuttle headed toward Earth to surprise  _ you _ .” He felt tears prick his eyes from the laughter. 

"Is this a joke I'm somehow not understanding?"

“Sadly no.” Parmak said as his laughter subsided, still shaking his head a bit and drying his eyes. “He should be arriving in a few minutes and head to the O‘Brien’s home to meet you.”

"Wha... I need to contact him! I missed _ the buffet  _ for him!"

“Yes, and he missed the luncheon for the old senators. Though I’m not sure he minds.”

"Well, I  _ do  _ mind losing the buffet. Thank you, I'll call him and hope he can get back here."

"That Julian did what?" Garak shouted into Miles' face.

Miles shook his head, trying to sober up and stop laughing as the Cardassian looked aghast on his doorstep, his travel bags falling to the floor, his hand clenching the bouquet he’d so thoughtfully gotten for Julian. Miles’ kids popped their heads to look at the commotion, whispering excitedly about all the things the Castellan seemed to be carrying with him. There were sweets, and fancy clothes carefully arranged in one of his bags.

“He went home a week early to surprise you, Garak. He didn’t want to keep you waiting.”

"And he couldn't at least send me a note saying he was doing it?"

“He wanted to surprise you, as I said. I don’t see you sending any notes either, in any case.”

"Of course I didn't. I was supposed to surprise him."

“Yeah, I think we already established he had the same idea.” And to think Julian had seemed insufferable during the conference. Now he had his husband in his house, and he certainly liked him a lot less than the human.

"Suddenly the phrase  _ great minds think alike  _ is not that funny as it used to be."

“No, I imagine not.” Miles smirked a bit, wondering if he should grab the bags and help him settle, or drive the Cardassian back to the spaceport. “So, are you going to just turn your ship around, or should I set up a bed?”

"Oh no, now I made it all the way here, I want him to come back."

“Wait, so you want him to turn around when he went all the way there?”

"The option is me turning around." Garak said as if it was obvious, and as if they wouldn't have to go back to Cardassia anyway.

“I — I suppose you got a point. It is your vacation. I’ll make you two up a room then.”

This was not going to end well, he mused. 

He was preparing the room when he heard the screams as Julian’s face filled all the comm screen in his living room.

"What do you mean  _ turn around and come back Earth _ ? Elim, I refuse to go back there only to have to come back home a couple days later.  _ You _ turn around and come back!"

“Me? After I took several days off just to come and surprise you? The nerve of that, Julian.” 

Garak sounded aghast, voice rising on each word. Miles winced a little, and hoped Garak decided to go back. He’d heard that kind of discussions before, on DS9, and knew far too well what that type of arguing led to...

"We  _ live  _ here, Elim. You're being completely irrational and childish!"

Miles really, really hoped they'd decide to not spend the time in his house, at least. He had children, after all. He was willing to recommend them a very nice inn, were Julian the one to cave in. Anything but having them there.

“ _ I _ am being irrational? You’re the one who didn’t even think to check with me before gallivanting off on a runabout!”

"Oh, and did you, mister Castellan, even check where _ I _ was?"

“I was preparing to surprise you with a romantic dinner to celebrate your successful presentation. I thought it would be good for your ego.”

"Ha, as it would have been better than the fanciful dishes I brought home just for you. Really, whatever you had planned, it probably pales in comparison to this."

Miles wondered if he'd get away with murder if he presented this conversation as proof it was in self defense.

“Hmm, please, Julian. I’ll have you know I brought your favorite flowers from home, prepared in a perfect bouquet, freshly kept so you could have something nice to look at on this dusty rock.”

"Flowers, my dear? They are hardly a match to the paradise fruit tree I bought. A tree, Elim. I had an Andorian giving me weird side looks all the way home as the plant hid my face from everybody else."

Yes, Miles really was ready to send the Castellan into a shuttlecraft. How his friend and his... lizard, found this attractive, he had no idea, but certainly he wasn’t ready to ask questions.

“Hmm, now you’re insulting the flowers of your new homeland? How appalling. I might give that lovely bit of cloth I got you to Keiko. At least she’ll appreciate it.”

"Then you'll never get your hands on the silk I had to haggle,  _ haggle _ , Elim, to get for you."

Keiko, Kirayoshi, and Molly discreetly peeked on the room.

"Are they fighting, mommy?"

"I wish they were." Miles groaned as he ran a hand across his face. He was too old for this much nonsense.

Garak scoffed at that, running a hand through his hair. “Knowing your aesthetic taste, I’m sure he ripped you off.”

Keiko raised an eyebrow and guided the kids gently toward the door. Yes, she knew what their friends were doing. It was very funny when they did it on the station, but really, it felt a bit too intrusive to have them doing it in their own home.

"Says the one that bought beer from Quark. That was polluted water, Garak!"

"Mommy, they're shouting at each other! you don't let Molly and me do that." Kirayoshi insisted with his arms crossed and stomping his feet slightly. 

Garak froze and then smiled, voice sweet and sugary. Miles thought that might be worse. “Yes, we’re setting a bad example, dear. You should feel ashamed.”

"Yes, so, back to the point, you should come back home. It's absurd to have us do the trip back together."

“No, but you...”

"Oh, bloody hell, just go home already, Garak! I don't want you together in my house after this!" Miles snapped arms crossed as he picked up one of Garak’s bags with a pointed look.

Garak looked around to see Keiko nodding with her head as the children tried to understand what was happening.

“It seems that you’ve won, Julian, as your being so argumentative has lost us a place to stay. You really have no tact sometimes.”

"Can you two cut it out for once?" 

“Well, if Garak-“

Miles turned the transmission off before Julian could get the word out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love!!


	4. The Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the war casualties are honored, Garak confronts his own guilt about them.
> 
> _"Who was the genius under the Kak'tora decoding, Julian? The lone survivor will talk tonight and I'll have to stand at her side and nod! Hundreds of Cardassians were on that ship!"_
> 
> _“You did. But you didn’t do it alone. You’re not that important, Garak. The Federation’s ships helped a great deal.”_

Garak combed his greying hair one more time. He changed his suit for a gloomier one and checked on his image again, shaking his head. It wasn’t enough. Nothing was going to be enough. Times like this, he wondered why he was the Castellan, when he was guilty of so many things.

Julian glanced over at him, a small, tenuous smile on his face. He brushed a hand against his cheek. “We don’t have to go yet, if you’re not ready.”

"It's not that." He evaded, and went back to the first suit he had tried, not meeting his eyes. He tossed the clothes angrily to the side, not caring about how crumpled the suit he was trying again looked.

“My mistake. Both suits look quite fetching on you, and very dignified. They’d look better if you weren’t actively trying to tear them apart, though.”

"Maybe I should use a red one, so my participation in what we're going to honor can be more clear." Garak snapped as he turned to face Julian, eyes flashing.

“Then I suppose I should as well, so we match, since I fought the same war you did. What you did saved countless lives.”

"By wiping the lives we're about to celebrate tonight. Who was the genius under the Kak'tora decoding, Julian? The lone survivor will talk tonight and I'll have to stand at her side and nod! Hundreds of Cardassians were on that ship!"

“You did. But you didn’t do it alone. You’re not that important, Garak. The Federation’s ships helped a great deal.”

Garak paced the room, feeling the walls close around him. He tried to calm his breath, remembering all the exercises Ezri had taught him, before he was able to talk again.

"Only I knew how to read the Cardassian codes, or else I would have gotten a whole more lot of sleep during the war. Their demise is my fault."

“Yes, but it was us who carried out the attacks. We didn’t have to. We could have found a different way of doing things, and yet we didn’t. We called the shots.”

Garak’s tone was bitter, sad. He didn’t blame the Federation for everything that had happened to his people, not anymore. "The Federation had no reasons to have sympathy for us."

“Yes we did! You’re people, Garak. You’re sentient beings as much as any of the rest of us. So are the founders and Vorta, for that matter. Just because we were on different sides of a war doesn’t mean they should have died, and it still weighs heavily on my conscious as well.”

"Yet the Federation opened fire without a shred of compassion using the coordinates I retrieved for them." 

There was no bitterness to his voice. Only the terrible guilt of knowing it was just one of the many ships that had been taken down because of his participation in the war. Deep down he knew he’d done everything in his hands to help his people, but still, the blood on his hands seemed far too fresh sometimes.

Julian put his hands on his shoulders, trying to ground him. He knew what came after the agitation of these moods, and today definitely was not a day for Garak to be tucked in bed, recovering from a panic attack. Too much was at stake. “Yes, so really you should hate me just as much as yourself, if you want to spread some of that shame around.”

"Your job was to heal people. I knew full well what I was doing would kill them."

“So did I when I shot people and tortured someone, stomping on his brain when I had no right to do so.”

"That information ended the war. Mine only prolonged it."

“You have no proof of that.” Julian snapped, raising an eyebrow. “If the Kak’tora bombed the planet it was supposed to, at least two neutral factions would have joined the war afterwards. How many more people would have died, then?”

They both looked at each other, panting, until Garak looked down, grabbing Julian’s hand as he ordered his thoughts.

"There is something that's your fault, though."

Julian leaned in then, tilting his head to the right. He knew what a surrender looked like in his husband. “What would that be?”

"I don't think I felt guilt about my duty before you."

“I think you did, you just didn’t recognize it for what it was.”

He smiled weakly, letting Julian help tidy his clothes. He felt as if all strength had left his body. "You give me more credit than I deserve."

“How funny, I feel the same way about you.”

"I don't think I helped you grow that much. You still have that ridiculous optimism about everything."

“Yes, but it’s tempered now with an understanding of my own failings.”

"Considering you're the first alien to get a General Health Director assignment, I'd hardly say you fail at anything."

When he first arrived at the station he wouldn’t have pictured himself admitting this, and yet, it felt fitting, and didn’t hurt as much as he imagined it would. “I’ve failed at plenty.”

"Never in my eyes, my dear. Never in my eyes."

“Hmm, strange your vision is so rose-colored looking at me and so dingy when looking at yourself.”

"Well, what kind of self-deprecating cynic would I be if I valued myself as much as I value you?"

“A wise one.” Julian teased as he pressed a kiss to his lips quickly, straightening his collar a bit as he did. “Should we go?”

"Yes, let's go. Just... I hope she'll accept my apologies. I know they're needed. I know I need her forgiveness." He smiled and took Julian's hand as they walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love! Trust us, we'd happily have you comment on each and every chapter of this little series 😊


	5. A quiet oasis in space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Festivals are noisy. And despite how much he tried to hide it through the years, Julian's enhanced senses sometimes get overwhelmed by them.
> 
> _"You haven't noticed how everybody talks about how the Castellan brought a Federation beauty with him, then? you're suddenly a very fashionable species."_
> 
> _“Hmm, but there’s not much to look at when it comes down to it. Not even spots like a trill. I’m a member of one of the most boring species in the galaxy on an aesthetic level.”_
> 
> _"So you really didn't notice the stares on the market. You think at least 3 sellers tried to argue with you just because they were bored? In front of me, the nerve they had."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We always go by the "Julian is autistic" head canon. We also like to imagine he’d be a vegetarian since he's horrified at the idea of meat that hasn't come out of a replicator.

It was the first big festival since the invasion. The first time the people of Cardassia felt like it was worth getting together to eat and drink and talk. Improvised fair booths had been installed all around the city, and Garak felt it was the first time since his childhood his presence there was not unwelcomed. There had been little moments to get together during the last two years, yes, but having the whole city coming together to celebrate was something to behold. Even before the invasion they hadn’t exactly been known for throwing parties.

Julian didn’t want to make things difficult, not when today was so special for Garak. It was the first festival that was truly a celebration and not simply an excuse to share resources or to mourn. It was lively and beautiful and... loud. Very loud. Louder than it had ever been at Quark’s, and that place had got him feeling dizzy more than once. The smile he kept on his face was starting to feel strained.

"We can go there, by the trees. We can enjoy our meal in a less crowded space." Garak said, tugging at his hand to get him away from the crowd. Just because being surrounded by the warm and smell of his people felt amazing to him didn't mean he wasn't aware Julian was beginning to feel sick.

“Are you sure? I know how exciting this is for you. If you want to keep mingling, I’ll be alright.” Julian said with a confidence belied by his fidgeting and slightly blank stare. He knew he ought to put up a bit of a fight, insist on staying a bit more, but ... it was a too much.

"Yes, I'm afraid I was away so long, I'm not used to being surrounded by so many cardassians anymore."

“Of course not.” Julian said with a slight scoff as he led them toward the more open picnic area.

"They're so noisy. A few years ago such a display wouldn’t have been imaginable. How things change."

Garak regretted how less fine his hearing was compared to Julian's as they got away from the festival areas. He missed his language, being unassisted by the translator to understand, catching glimpses of conversations he shouldn't be listening to. But just as he was good at catching those glimpses, he was also good at noticing when body language was becoming tense and Julian seemed about to snap.

Julian smiled softly as he sat down on the grass, holding his plate and rocking on his heels a bit. He had no idea what it was nor did he care. All he cared about was that his senses were feeling too overwhelmed. He nudged Garak with his foot. “You can go back there if you want, really. I’ll be fine on my own.”

"And risk any other cardassian trying to steal my enticing lover from me?" Garak gasped, raising his eyes ridges as he pressed a hand against his chest, lips curling in bemusement. 

“Hmm, somehow I don’t think you need to worry about that.” He leaned on a tree, thanking the bark for its sturdiness, helping him feel more grounded, stable.

"You haven't noticed how everybody talks about how the Castellan brought a Federation beauty with him, then? you're suddenly a very fashionable species."

“Hmm, but there’s not much to look at when it comes down to it. Not even spots like a trill. I’m a member of one of the most boring species in the galaxy on an aesthetic level.”

"So you really didn't notice the stares on the market. You think at least 3 sellers tried to argue with you just because they were bored? In front of me, the nerve they had."

“I thought they wanted me to pay more.” Julian said dryly as he leaned against Garak. It was quieter over here, and he could feel his body returning to his normal state. Things were easier when he had only one stream of words to pay attention to.

"We're not Ferengi, my dear."

“Doesn’t mean you can’t want a good deal.” Julian argued even as he smiled a bit and preened. “I was worried they wouldn’t like me, when I first arrived here.”

"Trust me, they weren't just trying to get more money." He smiled as they cuddled. He’d got that bad habit from Julian, showing affection in public. "I'll never understand how you survived Quark's all these years. I guess because you and the chief had that spot where nobody else dared enter."

“Survived? Oh please, everyone on the station besides you and Leeta found me insufferable. Even Miles, and he likes me more than his wife.”

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." Garak smiled, shaking his head a little as he pushed some of Julian’s hair back from his forehead. "The noise really annoys you, doesn't it?”

In the distance music began to play, and Garak once again wondered how much louder it was for Julian. Humans had more sensitive ears to begin with, and certainly Julian’s were even more sensitive than that thanks to his parents. Garak has seen him cover his ears with a pillow, trying to find a bit of peace after the noise of the station surrounded him for hours.

“I ... yes. More than a little. Miles didn’t realize — or maybe he did, but we put the dart board in the section of the bar where the noise was muffled. He was happy to comply and discrete enough to not comment.”

"I wouldn't give him credit when it comes to noticing things. It's more likely he didn't want to accidentally hit anyone with a dart."

Julian snorted at that, shaking his head a little as he let it rest against the soft wood of the tree behind him. “Probably. And then I could always just make the holoprograms quieter than they would’ve been in real life, or be prepared for any noise so I wouldn’t jump.”

"And he probably thought it was just you trying to protect his ears.”

“Well, that was a part of it, he spent enough time in the med bay already with his constantly dislocating shoulder. Keiko would’ve been furious if he was there even more.”

Garak hummed and then looked at Julian considering it. "I think she would have understood you, if you said it was you who was put off by noise."

Keiko had rearranged her school for different children to fit in, so Garak had no doubts she would have been understanding with Julian. The problem was, as always, that Julian had never been very understanding with himself.

Julian merely let out a sheepish huff, blowing his hair up a bit. “Maybe she would have.”

"And you? how much do you know, trying to force yourself to stay in the festival?"

Julian shook his head. It felt incredibly selfish to even have this conversation. “I have a husband who not only wants to be here, but needs to be for Cardassia. A little discomfort is hardly worth mentioning. And I’m used to discomfort, in any case.”

Garak cupped his cheek, smiling. "A festival happens once a year. You, on the other hand, are my partner every day. I think it'd be pretty unfair of me to make the one who's every day of the 476 days of the year at my side suffer."

“I’m not suffering. I’m just a little uncomfortable.”

"The tight grip on my hand said otherwise."

“I ... I might have been a bit overwhelmed by the number of conversations going on. I... you lose the practice of being in a crowd outside when you live so much time on a station, that’s all. There were always people on Deep Space Nine of course, but it was smaller, and there were less things to pay attention to, and...”

"I don't need you to justify it."

Julian looked down, and noticed whatever it was on his plate, it didn’t look very tasty. He set it to the side, wondering how to discard it without looking too impolite.

“Oh. Sorry, I know that. I’m used to explaining. Before you and Dax, most people didn’t always get it. I’d try to hide it, and then when my parents outed me, I had to explain my augmentation and differences all the time and to so many people. so I... when they become obvious, I feel like I owe an explanation.”

Julian huffled a bit, trying to calm himself down. He hated ranting about those things, too. It made the memories of all the audits he’d had about his augmentation hurt. Garak squeezed his hand, trying to ground him.

"We can try again later, when it's quieter. You had the bad luck to come to live on a planet of people with not a good hearing."

“Yes, I had noticed that everyone speaks between 3 and 8 decibels over the human average.”

"Our ears are less sensitive. I'm trained to be able to distinguish sounds better, but even for me it is a constant effort."

Julian was thankful for that bit of information. It helped him ground himself more than the physical stimuli, and it was obvious Garak was counting on that.

“Really? How fascinating. I noticed the structure on your people’s ears is pretty different, with a bone that could be considered the predecessor of our hammer bone one. I can hear every voice in the square, every small bird and note, even though my bone structure wasn’t reorganized in a strict sense, so it probably comes from my brain working faster than average. It’s beautiful in a way but also...”

"Too much. Yes. I know. As I said, I love festivals, but I won't be able to enjoy them if you're feeling overwhelmed. Or starved, as I think you’ll be if you keep looking at that without taking one bite."

Garak sofly took the plate out of his hand and made a small ball with it, so it would just look like garbage when he discarded it.

“All right, but really, if you want to go back to the crowd, I’m happy to sit here alone for a few minutes. I could study how the new trees here are growing.”

"Only if you promise you'll call me if you need me."

“Of course, of course. For now I just want to be by the trees and enjoy the fruits of your labor.”

Garak smiled and went back to the festival. He was far too lucky, and it made him nervous. How could he really make it worth for Julian? He had everything he could have wanted and more now, and he was used to Cardassia giving him a blow every time he felt things were going his way. For all he loved his desertic motherland, it was not a generous land, not to her children.

Julian watched Garak with a smile from where he sat in front of the tree, chuckling as he saw people come up to their Castallen with bright eyes and wide smiles. The people here loved him, Cardassia finally rewarding his years of toil. How could Garak think leaving him here to go enjoy would make him feel bad?

It was nice being the anonymous one for a change. Just sitting there and watching.

Garak meanwhile was accepting smiles and handshakes, and from one small girl, a bouquet. “You built the school!”

"Do you attend there?" Garak smiled, kneeling to look her in the eye. He’d learned that from Sisko, he mused, how to be an equal when talking to a child. How much of who he was now had been forged in those 7 years among the Federation people? And how much of that would be transmitted to Cardassia?

“I do! I’m in the third year. I’m learning all my letters and how to grow vegetables. My name is Maya.”

That had been Keiko’s idea. She’d insisted they had to look into how Earth cultures had made their deserts verdant and teach that at school. That the real change would come when they managed to have all their needs fulfilled by their land.

"That's good. Cardassia needs educated citizens, not just loyal ones. Loyalty without thought proved to be quite bad for us in the past, young lady."

“Yeah, that’s why they were so mean to the Bajorans.” She said very seriously.

"And to many others, as well."

Garak insisted the reports on the Cardassian atrocities were to be taught to all the citizens, either young or old, archives there for them all to learn from their past mistakes and never to repeat them. Would he had thought about that without spending all that time there, cut off from his people, realizing a different way of life was possible?

“Yeah! The bajorans without noses too, like the one you married.”

He made a mock horror face which made the girl laugh. "He has a nose! it's ridges what he lacks, not a nose." He smiled at the girl. "Lots of species lack ridges as well."

“Really?” She asked with wide eyes, hands falling to her side.

Maybe they should include more texts about alien species for the younger students, he mused. Along with some tall tales to make the smaller children feel interested. Some of Dax's adventures with the klingons would surely be nice material for this new generation.

"Trills have spots instead, for example, which is something we don't have either. And andorians have neither, but they have antennae and blue skin."

“And humans don’t got anything?”

"Not having anything is having something, if you think about it. It means they're different from anybody else."

“That’s true! And they can go really cold places. My teacher told us that the other day. They live in places so cold that the ground turns white.”

"Not just that. They enjoy it. Even celebrate it."

“They do?” She looked intrigued but horrified at the same time.

"Why don't you go ask him? He can tell you all about how they have three months of celebrations when cold starts."

“Can I? Did he come to the festival?” 

She started to jump from one foot to another. Garak was sure a display like that would have been frowned upon when he was a child, and yet, he hoped more children were like her. Freer than he’d been. 

"Yes, he's by that tree, resting a bit."

She ran over, Garak following her with an amused smile. She stopped in front of Julian, who raised an eyebrow, grinning a bit when she threw her hands out and asked for a hug. 

"It seems I made a new friend." Garak smiled. "Meet Maya, she's horrified at your love for cold."

“Are you, now? That’s just because you’ve never seen snow before.”

"What's good about water you can't drink?" Garak asked, amused.

“You can make it into all kinds of sculptures. And each snowflake is unique, perfect in its imperfection.”

"How can you sculpt with water?" Maya seemed fascinated.

“You see, the cold makes the water solid, sometimes hard, sometimes a softer texture. If it’s soft, you can mold it like clay and if it’s hard you can carve it like wood.”

"But isn't it... Cold?"

Julian smiled at that. All Cardassians were little lizards at their core. “It is indeed. We usually cover our hands when we do it, and also put winter clothes and scarves on so we can be on the outside without freezing.”

"Not having ridges makes you better with cold?"

“I suppose so. That, and that my body is a bit warmer than yours. Cardassians can stand higher temperatures than humans, but ask the Castellan how much he enjoyed going to England in winter.”

"What about summer here, then?" The girl kept inquiring.

“Oh, the summer is quite hot, but luckily our house has lots of fans and my lab is kept very cool, as I need it to preserve the things I study. And Garak here makes me lots of iced tea.”

"Then you can drink ice." Maya seemed pleased with herself, putting her arms in jars and looking at Garak as if she knew better than him.

“Yes! That’s exactly right. And I do.” Julian also looked pleased, grinning as he wondered if there was a way to show her.

The kid laughed and then ran away as she heard the voice of her mother, leaving them alone again. Julian watched them go off and reached for Garak’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

"See? we don't need to be in the middle of the crowd." The older man smiled and gave him the bouquet he'd been given.

“Someone got your flowers? You know on Earth that’s a way of flirting. I considered bringing you orchids once.”

Garak sat at his side, not letting go of his hand. "I wouldn't be opposed to you giving me flowers, my dear. Though you have brought several delightful plants to me over the years."

“Hmm, then maybe I’ll find you some orchids and lilies, or something that smells like kanar.”

"Whatever you deem me worthy of, I'll be honored."

Julian grinned and stole a quick kiss, before leaning over to pick up one of the leaves that had fallen off of one of the trees, examining it through the light. Maybe being augmented wasn’t all bad, as he could see all the tiny vessels inside it, every little detail, the life of it.

"You're more yourself now." Garak smiled softly.

Julian raised an eyebrow as he pulled back, though his eyes seemed knowing. “How so?”

"You're relaxed again, happy, investigating nature. You always seem a bit off when you're surrounded by too many people and too much noise."

Julian let out a small laugh, nodding to what he said. “Yes, they take me out of my head too much. Or maybe they put me in it, I’m not sure which.”

"I don't mind looking at the crowd from afar."

“Good, and I don’t mind having the company as long as it’s you.”

Garak kissed his hand and then got up again, brushing the dirt out of his suit. "I know. Want me to go buy some festival food for us, so you don't have to go in again until the dancing show starts? I’m sure you’ll like that one enough to forget any discomfort."

“That sounds perfect, though make sure there’s no fish in it.”

Garak rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue a bit. "I know, nor any kind of bird or any other animal. My dear, I've watched you eat for 9 years, and you’ve said that same thing every time we’ve bought food during all that time."

“Of course, I just know that there’s fish in a lot of things I wouldn’t expect it in here. Like bread. What kind of person puts fish inside bread?”

"Yes, and it's not my fault you tried it without asking what was in it first. Nor that the name fish bread didn't give you an idea of what you were about to eat at work."

“I thought it was because it was made by the sea, or, or, also eaten by fishes or — something. There could be plenty of reasons for it to be called like that!”

"My dear, we like our metaphors, yes, but with food we're pretty straight forward."

“How boring.”

Garak snorted at that, raising an eye ridge at him. "You call it boring, and yet you ate it without even asking what was inside."

“I was curious and I didn’t want to be rude! My patient made it for me.”

"And I'm sure it was delicious, even if you felt bad afterwards."

“It was, but I was sick to my stomach all day.”

"You're spoiled because of replicators, that's the problem. You can't eat real food." Garak shook his head and went back to the crowd, searching for something they could both enjoy.

Julian stuck his tongue out at Garak’s back, brushing his fingers over the soft texture of the leaf and then grabbing a bit of dirt. It was quite different from any earth he’d felt on Bajor. Yet it already seemed different to when they first arrived. Softer, more welcoming.

Julian really was unaware of how popular he was, Garak mused as he found more vegetarian food than ever in the fair. From being a xenophobic planet, they were becoming a cosmopolitan, xenophilic one, giving federation food their own touch and having blue or ridgedless dolls on display. It was not the Cardassia Garak had left so many years ago, and yet he couldn't feel anything but pride at that. It was more home than it had been before, in a way, since the little things that had helped him survive while on exile seemed to have followed him on his return.

Garak picked out a few of his favorite dishes, smelling the warm dishes and noting the use of Cardassian spices, the scent bright and welcoming. He grabbed one of the dolls as well, noting that it looked a bit like Julian with its wavy hair and tiny blue uniform. He wondered if there was something less spiced, less bright. Something more of Julian’s taste.

"Castellan, may I interest you in some fish bread?" the woman tending the place smiled brightly at him.

“One slice for me, I fear my dear husband hasn’t developed a taste for meat since coming here, but rather stuck to his vegetarian habits.”

"Ah, so the rumours are true? That he's unable to eat any fish or bird?"

He gave a dramatic gesture, one that he didn’t need anymore, not having to impersonate anybody or throw off enemies, but that he still found fitting to his own, real persona. “Indeed. I fear they make him sick both in his heart and his stomach.”

The woman shook her head in a grave gesture, but offered him a little parcel. "This is what we call terran bread, although we used native grain for it. White, no animals in it, salt and sugar as the only spices used. Maybe he'll like it."

Garak smiled softly at that, ready to tease Julian a touch about how plain the bread was, though he knew he’d appreciate it. He climbed the hill back to the wild flowers Julian was walking through. There were some children looking at him at a safe distance, probably wondering what the oddly plain man was doing.

"You can't walk two steps without someone talking to you, can you." Julian laughed. The Castellan way was full of people stopping him to exchange words.

“Tragically that’s the price of being in charge.”

"I think you enjoy it."

Garak grinned a little, wryly raising an eyebrow as he took his hands. “Maybe. It’s certainly refreshing after decades of people sneering behind my back.”

"You're finally free to be recognized for your service."

“Yes, and I have to admit that I do take some pleasure in that, even if I shouldn’t.”

"Why? Getting recognized is always good. Especially when you're the one driving a whole planet to a new era."

“Because you should only serve for the State, not your own personal gratification. Have I taught you nothing?”

"Why not both? you serve the State, and you also get to be praised by it. Win win, my dear Castellan. Also, did you bring me food? I’m starved." 

“Yes, yes. They made you this strange new Terran food called bread. Just plain, simple bread.”

"Normal, white bread? without fish or pidgeon, vulture, or whatever other things you like to put inside?"

“Nothing but Cardassian grain and I’m sure a decent amount of hard work. They are making food without meat because of the rumours of you being unable to eat it.”

Julian bit it first with uncertainty, but then with increasing enthusiasm. "I may start believing you when you say I'm popular, then. This is really good."

“You are the head of medicine and the Castellan’s husband. Of course you’re popular.”

"So, you're saying I'm the equivalent of the consort prince? The eye candy on your arm?"

“Something like that, though with more skills than usual.”

"Mmm, that's why you spoil me so much, then."

“Yes, it wouldn’t do for you to leave us.”

"I don't see why I would." Julian smiled as the festival lights started coming on, the sign of the dance about to start. "After all, this has been a lovely day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love!


	6. Under the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian and Garak find a quiet respite during their recent parenthood.
> 
> _Garak got up and moved the child to the crib in the room that used to be their storage and was now a nursery. At the crib’s side, Galin slept with her tail in her mouth, sucking softly. They had been with them for 3 weeks now, Mila with her 6 months of life, and 4 year old Galin, so their lives were a constant of Julian working mostly at the night shift and Garak during the day. They had not planned to adopt, and every time they tried to ask for leave an emergency happened, so their lives were a chaos none had anticipated. Like many orphans on Cardassia, the kids were incredibly dependent and sleep didn’t come easy. Garak had assured Julian he’d never before heard of night terrors until the invasion occurred.  
> _

Julian came home late at night, exhausted and with his shirt undone, face covered in dust. It had been a long shift in a scorching location, tending the victims of an accident. He’d promised to be home more, he really had, but apparently collapsing infrastructure didn’t care for recent parents.

Garak was asleep on the couch, with little Mila safe in his arms, her bottle dropped on the floor. It seemed the girl had been awake long enough to drain Garak's energy, to the point of not even making dinner for himself. Now at least both rested, exhausted.

Julian sighed and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before heading to the kitchen. He wasn’t the best cook, but he could manage something small for Garak. Soup. Simple and quick. He wondered if Galin had eaten. Yes, the little dishes were there, ready to be cleaned. He tried to find cutlery for Garak without making noise, but a mug slipped his hands.

"Is that you, dear?" Garak murmured softly from the couch. His voice was tired, but Julian could see his eyes wide open in the dark, shining brightly and with a hint of malice. Probably he was ashamed of not having even heard Julian enter the house, his constant vigilance defeated by the tiredness.

“Yes, I’m making you some of that Borian soup you like so much. Would you want anything to go with it?”

He put bread on a side dish and settled it on the table along with water for them both and spoons. He realized he was starved as well.

"I'm not sure I have energy to think of it." 

Garak got up and moved the child to the crib in the room that used to be their storage and was now a nursery. At the crib’s side, Galin slept with her tail in her mouth, sucking softly. They had been with them for 3 weeks now, Mila with her 6 months of life, and 4 year old Galin, so their lives were a constant of Julian working mostly at the night shift and Garak during the day. They had not planned to adopt, and every time they tried to ask for leave an emergency happened, so their lives were a chaos none had anticipated.

“Fair enough, I couldn’t either. I’m hoping to get a few hours of sleep before you leave, but if you’re too tired I can stay up if they need us.”

As many orphans on Cardassia, the kids were incredibly dependent and sleep didn’t come easy. Garak had assured Julian he’d never before heard of night terrors until the invasion occurred.

"I asked for the week off, didn't I tell you? it must have slipped my mind. Sorry, my dear." Garak looked a bit sheepish as he rubbed his eyes. He had never been one to forget anything.

“The week off? So you’ll be home all the time?” Julian looked amazed at the idea. “All right, that changes things a bit. I’ll sleep soon then, though I might have to do extra shifts. I wouldn’t want the staff to think I was slacking off compared to them, and today’s accident really has our hands full.”

Julian said all of this as though he didn’t work the most hours of his staff and as if he hadn’t been practically ignoring his paternity leave. But being the only human on the planet, and the de facto liaison with Starfleet weighed too heavily on him, and certainly being surrounded by so many ill and hurt people was draining him slowly. No matter what he did, it never seemed to be enough.

"I'm taking these days so you can take some for you as well, dear. It won't do to have both parents dying of exhaustion. And the girls need us. Together." His eyes were closing as he leaned on the kitchen table. He shook his head. It would be very embarrassing to fall asleep with a slice of bread hanging from his mouth.

“Oh. Right. Right. I can take mine — I’ll take mine soon. Maybe — I hate missing work, but I hate missing them.” Julian cried as he pressed a hand over his face, shaking his head over the bowl he was setting on the table. “I’m exhausted, I never thought I could be this tired.”

"Cardassia needs us, but these girls need us as well." Garak slowly ate whatever Julian had prepared. He had no idea what it was, nor did he care. He was so tired that he just sat on a stool, plate in his hands, instead of going to the table. Not even on his worst days had he felt so undignified, but then again, not even in his worst days he’d had a toddler cry for 5 hours straight.

"Pappa Elim." A little voice called, and they turned to see Galin with teary eyes, nervously fiddling with her tail.

Julian rushed to her side, kneeling down next to her with a kind smile. “What’s wrong, Galin?”

"I don't want the roof falling again. I want to be out, in the garden."

She'd been found in a collapsed building, with her sister under her, so still getting her to even use a blanket was a struggle.

Julian pulled her into a tight hug. “The roof here is very sturdy thanks to papa Elim, but we can go camping if you want. You know what camping is? Is when you sleep under the stars. No roof over your head.”

She nodded, her hands clutching her tail tightly. "I don't like dreams."

“I’m not a fan of them either. Here, come with me, and I’ll prepare sleeping bags. Papa Elim is going to be home all the time this week, you know.”

"Fixing the roof?" She looked up with alarm.

“He’ll be spending time with the two of you, and with me. The roof is very, very strong.”

"Doing what?"

“Getting to know you, Galin. Your pappas want to spend as much time with you as they can.” Yes, he was taking that leave now, he realized. How could he be missing this?

"Why you look difrent?" The kid asked suddenly, tilting her head to the right.

Julian blinked owlishly before realizing what she was asking. “Well, you see, I’m not Cardassian originally. I came from a planet called Earth.”

Galin looked up with curiosity as Julian prepared an improvised camp. He’d never imagined the Starfleet supplies would come this handy in his very backyard.

"What’s a planet?"

Garak came outside with Mila in his arms, and a plate with what passed as snacks on Cardassia on the other. Julian still marveled at how small Cardassian babies were. Seeing the big, imposing adult lizards they were, he'd never imagined their babies were half the size of human ones.

“It’s a big, big place where people live, like Cardassia.” He knelt down and handed her some of the snacks, grinning. “On my planet people have soft skin with no scales and they don’t like the heat as much as you or pappa Elim.”

"Is... south, then?" She imagined it was another city, but to the south, where it was colder. Her mother used to tell her stories about all the parts of Cardassia when when she was little. She’d tell her stories about the Cardassians with darker and greener scales, living south and using thick clothing.

“Yes, a long, long way away to the south.” Julian explained with a small smile as he finished setting up a fort for them with pillows and blankets. “Now, we’ll be here all night. We should do something fun!”

"Like what?" the kid cocked her head.

“We can make something yummy!” Julian hadn’t gone camping as a child, but he always imagined people laughing and eating nutritiously dubious things at them.

"I don't know how."

“Oh! Well, pappa and I will show you.”

She watched in marvel as they improvised some food, and even asked to feed the bottle to her sister when Mila woke up, so they could keep cooking. Garak was sure those “marshmallow” things Julian had replicated were pink poison, but the girl seemed so fascinated so for once he decided to bite his tongue.

“What a good sister you are.” Julian watched as she fed little Mila, who giggled after her bottle and babbled a bit, eyes already growing heavy. Sometimes it seemed the only one able to calm Mila was Galin.

"Did your tail fall off?" She looked at Julian as he crouched, trying to get the fire to stay lit and hissing as he almost fell on it, sucking on a scorched finger and swallowing down a few swear words he really didn’t want the girl to repeat.

“I never had one, actually.” Julian told her with a small smile. “People on Earth usually are not born with tails or scales.”

"How you sleep then?" she looked at the tip of her tail pensively. Mila sucked it too when she was sleepy.

“You see, luckily I don’t like to suck on a thing, but when I feel especially anxious sometimes I hug Kukalaka.”

"Who is Ku... ku... kuklaka?"

“Oh, have I not introduced you yet? How silly of me.” Julian ran off to their bedroom.

Garak rolled his eyes with fondness, only to snort when Julian presented the almost destroyed thing with pride. No matter how much he tried, that toy was too far gone even for his superior tailoring skills.

"She looks dirty." Galin cocked her head, watching the battered toy.

“She is a bit, yes. She’s been with me since I was the same size as Mila.”

"You wasn't always big?" she opened her eyes wide. Definitely she didn’t understand how the people from south Earth worked.

“No, everyone starts off small. In fact, I started off smaller than you or Mila, even.”

"Really? and Elim too? there are small grownups?"

“No, no, we were little like you.”

"We were children too, my dear." Garak added, passing her a mug once he made sure it wasn’t too hot for her. “Everybody gets to be a child for a time.”

“So someday Mila will be big like you?” She clutched her mug in her hands, looking between them with wide eyes.

"If she eats all her meals, yes. You too. In some years you'll grow your neck ridges and be big and strong, you'll see." Garak showed her how thicker his neck looked in comparison with her. “Once you have these ones, you’ll be a grownup too.”

“Why didn’t pappa Julian grow any? Did you not have all the meals?”

Julian rolled his eyes. Really, this kid was fixated on his aspect. "I’m human, which is a different species. I can show you Earth movies tomorrow, with people like me singing and dancing, and we can do a tradition of watching them together from now on, what do you say?"

“Yes!! None of pappa’s movies have any singing.” Mila grinned excitedly and did a little spin, spilling chocolate over both her fathers.

"I told you mine were more interesting, Elim." Julian laughed brightly as he took a mug out of the girl’s hands.

“Hmm, they're just too young to appreciate art. Give them a few years, dear.”

"Not if I manage to ruin them before."

“Even you could learn a bit.”

"No, I'm good as I am." He made a dismissive gesture with his hand, snorting as he laid back on the ground to look at the stars. "So, will we all sleep in the garden tonight?"

“Yes, that sounds lovely. Maybe by the orchids?” Garak asked as he considered the place in the yard where it would be the easiest to watch for any hint of danger. He had repaired the fence and their house was a bit less than a fortress, but old habits die hard.

"Yes!" Galin took her sleeping bag and started to drag it there clumsily. "Do the stars have names?"

“Yes, actually. Your father and I could teach you some of them if you’d like.”

"Yes! are they like the light bugs? but farther?" she pointed her finger to the little bugs flying around them.

“Not quite. The stars are much bigger and hotter.” Julian told her as he held his hands wide as though to demonstrate.

"Far like... the market? or more?"

“Oh, much further than the market, Galin, or any place you’ve been. Further than Bajor!” Julian wondered when was the right time to explain to a child about the gas and the nuclear fusion inside stars... probably not yet, he guessed.

"What's a Bajor?"

“It’s another planet nearby. Some of daddy’s friends live there.”

The girl smiled, her eyes closing as she yawned and leaned on Julian. "I want to go."

“Someday we will, once things are calmer here.”

"And have candy?" the girl's words were slurred, sleepy.

“All the candy you want.”

Galin gave one last happy sigh and fell asleep, arms around her sister, protecting her even in her sleep.

"Is she asleep?" Garak whispered, more hope in his voice than Julian had ever heard.

“She is, but we should keep our voices down if we want it to stay that way.”

"Don't worry, I plan on sleeping." Garak carefully opened his sleeping bag and cuddled at her side, with the little girls tucked and protected between them. "I'm too tired to even worry about what the neighbors would say about us sleeping on the floor."

“Good, good, because while I’m holding up well for now, I’m seconds away from collapsing.”

Garak mumbled something before falling asleep. His back was against the wall, as always when he was in a vulnerable position, but he slept a lot deeper than he used to. Maybe because he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love!


	7. Citizens day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day to become a True Cardassian in the eyes of the State arrives, and as they take Mila and Galin for the ceremony, Elim and Julian find some old faces.
> 
> _"Will you be named true Cardassian too, daddy?" Galin asked as she took Julian's hand, while Garak carried Mila in his arms, who kept protesting that if she wasn't touching the floor, she could be without shoes, but then complained about not wanting to walk, either._
> 
> _“No, dear. I’m not a true Cardassian, you see. They don’t offer this ceremony for those who were born outside Cardassia.”_
> 
> _"But you can ask to be considered a Cardassian too, even if you don't have scales." Galin argued as she pressed her hands on her hips. Oh, she truly was a Garak, decided to question everything and everyone even though she was 7. "You can be both." She huffed as she glanced over at Elim. "Can't he, pappa?"  
> _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not only we came up with yet another festival, but also we haven't read the books yet, so we reimagined Rugal's destiny.

Garak frowned, shaking his head in dismay as he watched his children. Galin had already managed to get her hair muddy -again -, and Mila was fighting her shoes with all her might. Damn, how was it possible they had adopted Cardassian children and yet they were as unruly as Julian?

Julian sat down and tied Mila’s shoes for her, carefully redoing the laces and pressing a kiss to her forehead. They had given up on shoes that had less than complicated laces and knots with this kid a long time ago. “Don’t worry, they always gave me trouble too.”

"I hate them. I want feet free!" the toddler complained as she kicked her legs out.

“I know, but the rocks outside could hurt your feet, and that wouldn’t be any fun.” Julian told her softly as he helped her stand up. “The road is not as clean and nice as our home’s floors.”

"Then how will my feet be strongest?" She huffed, and discreetly tried to take the shoes off again.

“They’ll be safe, which is more important than strong.”

"I'm making my hair safe!" Galin chimed from the garden. She had flowers and mud plastered all around her head. 

“Yes, and it looks lovely, but how about we give it a quick wash so the other children don’t know your secret?”

"But I'm the flower queen..." she argued even as she marched over to the sink and let Garak wash the mud out of her hair.

“I’ll make you a crown while papa washes your hair.”

"Not the same. I want mud on my crown!" 

Mila meanwhile started to chew on her shoes. For a reptilian girl with plaques all around, she certainly was flexible.

“Why do you want mud, dear?” Garak scratched her scalp, trying to remove whatever it was she had applied to it.

"Because it's warm and alive. Worms tickle!"

Garak choked a noise at that. The utter horror. He wanted his girls to love nature, yes. But it was one thing to love their planet and their garden, and quite another to have one with muddy feet and the other with muddy hair.

Julian let out a small laugh, and started to braid flowers on her hair. While he was pretty bad at cooking, he’d discovered he had a knack for hairdressing. “I happen to like worms too, but I don’t think they’d like the heat or noise at the festival. We wouldn’t want to make them uncomfortable, would we, Galin?”

"Oh, oh, true. Then I shall wear my crown at home." She said with a serious tone.

“I’m glad you’re taking such good care of your worm friends.” Julian said with equal seriousness as he finished adding the last few flowers to the crown, making sure they were secured in the layers of hair.

Galin smiled and turned in front of the mirror. She always loved the way the braids cupped her face, and Julian always tried new styles, partly to make her pretty, partly to try and get her to be tidy for more than 5 minutes.

"Shoes are not my friends." Mila insisted as she crossed her arms, pouting up at them. 

“They will be outside, you wouldn’t want your feet to burn.” He adjusted Mila’s hairdo, and made sure the shoes were firmly tied one last time, as Elim checked on Galin’s clothes.

"Fine." The kid looked just like a tiny sized Garak, with her glare for not finding a good retort.

“Good then. Are we excited for the festival?” Julian asked with a bright smile as he held his hand out.

"Will you be named true Cardassian too, daddy?" Galin asked as she took Julian's hand, while Garak carried Mila in his arms, who kept protesting that if she wasn't touching the floor, she could be without shoes, but then complained about not wanting to walk, either.

“No, dear. I’m not a true Cardassian, you see. They don’t offer this ceremony for those who were born outside Cardassia.”

"But you can ask to be considered a Cardassian too, even if you don't have scales." Galin argued as she pressed her hands on her hips. Oh, she truly was a Garak, decided to question everything and everyone even though she was 7.

“I can, yes, but you see, I’m still quite fond of Earth as well.”

"Well, I want to go to Earth and be in Starfleet, but I am still Cardassian." She was just not ready to let go, her stubbornness only growing with time.

“Of course, darling, and Starfleet will be more than happy to accept you. But then I can love Cardassia and want to live on her with you and Mila and pappa and still be Terran.”

"You can be both." She huffed as she glanced over at Elim. "Can't he, pappa?" 

“Yes, indeed you can.” 

Julian shot him a look, because he hadn’t been approved for Cardassia day as far as he knew. He’d applied more than once, but at best he’d got a polite refusal letter, and at worst, not even that.

"Tell that to the government, then." Julian whispered in English to Garak.

“Oh trust me dear, I very much have several times.” Julian gave him a bright smile that gave away nothing. Some things were impossible even for the Castellan.

They kept walking, with Mila discreetly trying to take her shoes off, until they saw a familiar face. Rugal. Julian felt a pang of guilt. They had contributed to him losing his family, after all, even if there were some complex issues like the hate for his own species he was being fed.

Julian gave him a small wave, hoping that the boy’s presence here today might mean that he was starting to accept himself bit by bit. They had barely interacted in the 10 years Julian had been living there, but still for him it was easy to recognize him. His hair was now longer, and the way it fell over his ears seemed to indicate he was trying to hide the earring he hadn’t removed, not once.

"Ah, I knew about Mr. Garak becoming the Castellan, but I had no idea you were still here too." Rugal looked a bit awkwardly at the couple.

“Ah, yes. Garak and I have been married for almost a decade now, actually. Cardassia is my home as much as Deep Space 9.”

"Ah. I can hardly imagine a foreigner wanting to come here."

“I’m a doctor. I went where I was most needed. And then ...”

"Then you decided to stay in this arid rock." Rugal looked around himself with despise. “Why here, and not Earth?”

“I fell in love with Cardassia. I have a family here, a life.”

Rugal nodded. For all the venom in his words, he was still living on the arid rock as well. "I still miss Bajor, but my real father was kind, and my wife wanted our child to be a Cardassian. I guess I will never really go through this ceremony, but I owed it to her." Rugal looked sad.

“It’s not too late if you want to go through it.” Julian told him gently, placing his free hand on his shoulder.

"Pretty sure they won't like me going through it with my earring, don't you think?" He gave him a lopsided smile, as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

“Maybe not, but things are changing even here, slowly but surely.”

Garak gave him a devious smile. He was bitter enough for the refusal to make Julian a true Cardassian to feel bad for the functionaries that’d direct the ceremony. "And it may be fun to see their faces, don't you think?

“Oh, that would be the highlight of the festival. They’d love to see my piercing.”

"I want an earring too!" Mila exclaimed suddenly, trying to jump to Rugal's arms.

“Mila dear, what have we said about asking for hugs first?” Garak gently pulled her back to his arms.

"Hug first, ask later?"

“The other way around, sweetheart.” Julian reminded her as he tidied her hair a bit, giving Rugal an apologetic smile.

"I don't mind." He took the girl in his arms. Even for her age, she was really small, and she made herself a happy ball on his arms. "I never imagined myself hugging a Garak."

“Not many people dare.” Garak added with a small smirk, while Julian straightened Galin’s flower crown.

"This Garak seems pretty harmless. Are they for their ceremony?"

“Yes! I’m the flower princess.” Galin cried excitedly as she bounced on her feet a bit. Elim wondered if there was a way to stop Julian from telling the girls princesses stories, as they clearly were messing up their upbringing.

"And I was the foot princess, but now I has shoes." Mila complained.

“The foot princess needs her feet to be protected.” Garak reminded her with a small smile.

"Shoes make them weak."

A sound interrupted them. The ones to be honored were being called with a fanfare. For an “official government act”, it surely had a lot of similarities to any other kind of ceremony across the galaxy.

“Come children, we’re about to hear your names called.” Julian smiled brightly as he walked Mila over to the edge of the stage.

"I want earring man to carry me." She demanded, crossing her arms.

“What? Your father isn’t good enough for you?”

"You take Galin." The girl made a dismissive gesture and ran to Rugal.

Julian made a mock wounded sound before holding his hand out to Galin.

"Pappa can take my other hand too." No wonder Galin was so sure she'd be a princess diplomat of Starfleet in the future.

“Of course, how thoughtful of you. Whose name do you think they’ll call first?”

Before they could answer a child was called and Rugal gave Mila back to Julian. "That's my boy. Enjoy the show when I ask for the blessing too."

“Of course. I wish you luck and happiness in your blessing.” Julian smiled warmly at him. 

They watched in amusement as the government functionary looked at his earring with horror, and then even more horrified when he unexpectedly bowed at the side of his child to ask to be named as well. His wife tried to keep a straight face and failed, snorting every time she tried to calm down, her giggles eventually managing to make Rugal laugh as well.

Julian hid his laughter in Garak’s shoulder, shaking his head as he whispered in his ear. “They’re a good match. Rugal deserves that kind of person in his life.”

"And I'm glad to see I didn't ruin his life completely."

“No, he seems happy now. And you wouldn’t have ... his life was complicated before we came along.”

"Yes, but maybe if I hadn't approached him, he wouldn't have been forced to part from everything he knew and live in a battlefield. I thought about him so many times as we rebuilt."

“Maybe not. But maybe he’d grown up hating himself even more than he did before. We can’t know the other path, so there’s no point in wondering.”

"No, but lately, I have so many destinies in my hands, I worry more about every choice I've made."

Being the Castellan had not been his intention when he first landed back on his land, and even now, he wondered what he was doing every day as he chose things for the whole of his planet. Every day he hoped he was doing the right thing, even as his planet seemed to be thriving and becoming an oasis.

“Of course, but as someone who willingly put his destiny in your hands, you should know you’re doing a wonderful job.”

"I never thought I'd say this, but some days I miss just having cloth to work with.”

“Hmm, I can imagine.” Julian teased softly as he ran a hand over a ridge on his shoulder. “But that’s only because you’re forgetting how bored you were.”

"Maybe, maybe." They heard the names of their girls being called. "So, shall we go register these two chaos children as Cardassians?"

As they climbed to the stage, they noticed Mila was barefoot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love!


	8. Christmas on Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls discover Christmas is not a Cardassian tradition, and that, in fact, falls in winter in some places of the universe.
> 
> _“Christmas is actually a holiday celebrated here on Earth first.” Julian told her with a small grin, watching as the movie came to life in front of them, sparkling lights and all. “Your papa and I just decided it would be nice to celebrate it at home as well, so I wouldn't miss it so much. Then our neighbors thought it was a very fun celebration and decided to start doing the same.”_
> 
> _"So... the Cardassians copied Earth?" Galin seemed still unconvinced. Everybody she knew celebrated Christmas, after all. Granted, she didn't know a lot of people, but still._

"Look at what you did, Julian. You ruined two perfectly normal Cardassian girls. You should feel ashamed." Garak glowered at him from under a blanket, shivering in front of the chimney. This was what he deserved for choosing a warm blooded partner.

“I had no idea they’d like the cold!” Julian argued as he slipped under the blanket with him, cozying up to his side. “But we can have some nice alone time while Yoshi watches the girls play outside.”

"Are you insane, letting them _touch_ the snow? what if it burns through their scales?"

“Well, I put this amazing new invention on them called gloves. Really a revolutionary piece of clothing.”

"What about their eyes? they could freeze."

“Goggles, dear. They’re covered fully from head to toe.”

"The cold can creep from their nostrils to their lungs. Freeze the air inside them."

“You’re being ridiculous, that just won’t happen. And I’m monitoring their health anyway. I put chips on their coats that update their vitals every 0.006 milliseconds, so I have a real time scan of their health at all times.”

"What if one of them falls inside the snow and can't get out? And the other is too scared to scream for help?"

“... Garak, they’re 10 and 6, not 2, and there’s barely any snow. They’ll be lucky if they can make a snow angel, leave alone a snowman.”

Garak poked him in the shoulder, pushing him out of the blanket. "I still think the warm blooded one should go watch them. Yoshi is a teen, and I don't trust human teens to pay attention."

Julian got up, rolling his eyes at the annoyed reptile. “Fine, fine. I’ll go watch them. I understand, you’re bored of me and you think my beauty has dulled with age.”

"No, I just think letting two Cardassian girls play in the snow is terrifying." Garak sneezed, too cold to engage in their banter. "How come you always convince me to go be cold?"

“Hmm, maybe because I’ve spent the better part of over 10 years being terribly hot on your planet?”

"Ah, so this is retaliation?"

Julian pushed him with the foot playfully, earning a growl from his partner. “Yes, exactly. I’m quite devious and the girls are doing all right. They’ll be back in 3.2 minutes if Yoshi followed my directions.”

"So I have 3 more minutes to stuff myself with whiskey in an attempt to get warmer?"

“Yes, and then you have to be a good father and let me put on some cheesy holiday movie while we share the blanket.”

"When, oh when will my torment end?"

Julian kissed his chufa, not feeling pity for him. “Hmm, maybe when you make us hot chocolate.”

"You mean I should get out of this cozy place?"

“Oh well, since you’re unwilling, I’ll make the girls hot chocolate, and you pick a movie to watch.”

"See? That is a bit more of my liking."

“Of course it is. I’m doing all the work.”

"Exactly."

“Don’t think even for a second I won’t get it back to you, my dear tailor.”

Julian stuck his tongue out, making cups for his family and the O’Brien’s, who were going to be back soon. He finished just as the doors swung open, cold air and snow entering the cabin to Garak’s dismay.

The girls rushed inside, followed by Yoshi, who was engrossed in his mobile messaging device, not really looking at the kids in his charge as he took a photo and sent it to someone.

Garak glanced at him and then shot a pointed look at Julian, who merely smiled back beatifically as he finished the hot chocolate.

"Daddy, come here! it's not that cold." Galin pulled Garak's arm to get him to leave the fireside, encountering the resistance of a man who was using all his might to stay in the warmest spot of the room.

“No, dear. I’m not moving one inch from this warmth. If you want to be in the cold, stand by your other father.”

"You're missing the winter." Mila glared at him from above, hoping she looked just as menacing as he sometimes did, although it was clear being 3 feet shorter wasn’t helping her case at all.

“Yes, I’m trying to.”

"Pappa!" Galin gave him an affronted look.

“Come sit with me under the blankets and watch some movies. Or stay there, I don’t care. In either case, I don’t plan on moving, ladies.”

"Daddy, pappa is being lazy!" Mila huffed, removing her gloves and coat without any care and tossing them over a couch.

“Yes, but you have to remember he’s older than us and doesn’t have as much strength.”

"You realize I am the one who cooks back home, don't you."

“Only because you insist on it.” Julian reminded him with a charming smile as he brought the mugs over on a tray.

"And because the girls refuse to eat any of the things you burn down when doing so."

“I’ve never burnt anything down. Just on the sides or in the middle. And sometimes in both at the same time.” Julian crossed his arms. “And what I lack in culinary skills I make up for by being the cool parent.”

“The what?” Mila asked.

“He says he’s like... like Uncle Miles, I think.” Galin said, disbelief in her voice.

Julian almost dropped the hot cup, eyes wide and biting his lip. Oh, he’d heard about this particular part of parenthood, but was so not ready for it. For his girls to start mocking him and say he was a ridiculous man. He dreaded what their teens would be like, if at 10 Galin was already doing that. “Are you suggesting uncle Miles is cooler than me?”

"Well, yes. Obviously." Galin said, and behind her, Yoshi snorted, still eyes plastered to his mobile device.

“He is not cool, Galin.” Julian sounded far too serious given the subject at hand, making Garak laugh into his drink.

"I agree." Yoshi said, furiously typing in his device. "Definitely not cool."

"But he... he can build anything!" Mila shouted as she threw her arms out wide, as though trying to show off just how much Miles could make.

Julian shook his head, looking a touch appalled. “So can your papa , when he bothers. He single handedly decoded hundreds of messages during the war and saved us from a dominion prison.”

"That was like... A century ago." Galin said dismissively, brushing her hand in the air.

"We weren't even born." The youngest added with a shrug, as she reached for her mug.

"It wasn't that long ago." Julian tried to argue, wincing a little as he thought back to just how long it had been.

"And he forced me to wear boots to go to the snow." Mila chimed in, crossing her arms and letting out a small huff.

"And he's still complaining of the cold." Galin added.

Julian shook his head a few times, biting his lip. He needed to make himself look good if Elim was a lost cause, at least in the eyes of the girls. “Yes, but I'm not.”

"You're dad. You can't possibly be cool." Galin said as if it was obvious.

“And what exactly does that mean?” Julian asked as he handed her a mug of hot chocolate, taking her mittens to dry them off with his other hand.

"You put a chip on our coats and you worry too much."

Before Julian could answer that, the doors swung open and Keiko, Miles and Molly entered, carrying supplies and Christmas gifts.

The doctor huffed with amusement, shaking his head a bit as he sat down next to his husband. Garak grinned as he stole some of his popcorn. “Dear, take it as a compliment. After all, the Chief is your best friend. And Cardassian children are very demanding.”

"What did we miss?" Miles looked puzzled, tilting his head to the right.

“Just that you’re the cool one.” Garak told him with a smirk, as Julian shook his head again, wiping chocolate off from under Mila’s chin as the girl came to wrap herself up in the blanket with them.

Miles shook his head, amused, and started preparing the dinner and lighting candles. "Pretty sure Keiko and the kids would disagree."

Keiko just winked at that, and started to hang decorations from the walls, as her family unwrapped the food and prepared the presents.

"Dad, are we making Christmas here too?" Mila seemed confused, wrinkling her nose up.

“Christmas is actually a holiday celebrated here on Earth first.” Julian told her with a small grin, watching as the movie came to life in front of them, sparkling lights and all. “Your papa and I just decided it would be nice to celebrate it at home as well, so I wouldn't miss it so much. Then our neighbors thought it was a very fun celebration and decided to start doing the same.”

"So... the Cardassians copied Earth?" Galin seemed still unconvinced. Everybody she knew celebrated Christmas, after all. Granted, she didn't know a lot of people, but still.

It seemed to be a bit of a different kind of Christmas, now that she paid attention. For starters, the only fire was in the fireplace, not on the streets. Also, food seemed pretty different to the cold dishes they ate back home, in the warm season. And the candles were white with something that resembled leaves around, instead of the traditional brined Cardassians all the children loved to melt. Definitely it seemed they were celebrating the cold instead of the warm, she mused.

“Well, I wouldn’t quite call it copying so much as they adopted the celebration as one of their own. Or at least we did at our house.”

"Do they burn the dolls on the streets here too?" Mila wondered how that would work. After all, it seemed too cold for the fire to catch as it did back home.

Miles raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at them. “And why would we do that?”

Julian rolled his eyes. “To ward off the cold or something like that. They _celebrate_ the warmest days of summer.”

"Well, we do it and it's very fun. And we also prepare spicy food." Galin said with her arms crossed.

"A very wise tradition, if you look through the window. Maybe you should do it too." Garak glared.

“We actually put a lot of effort into keeping the cold, thank you very much.”

"Yes, I noticed." Garak said with venom.

"Maybe we should do a snowballs fight. Like the one we had on the holosuite that time, Miles, remember?" Julian smiled at the memory.

Keiko shook her head and poured a glass of something strong for Garak, delivering it to him. "Have some compassion for this lizard, boys."

“Hmm, only if he promises to have some compassion for those of us who enjoy the snow.” Julian said as he pulled the blanket across them. Miles loyally didn’t point out that Julian hadn’t gone out in the snow either. 

Mila smelled what Molly was unwrapping, standing on her toes to reach the table. "Where are the stuffed regova eggs?"

“We don’t have those here, but we do have some chocolates.”

"Chocolate stuffed eggs?"

"No, we... Yoshi, put down that phone and come help! Your girlfriend can wait." Molly huffed.

Yoshi sighed rather dramatically as he came over to start taking out of some of the cookies, sliding a few into his mouth.

The Garak-Bashir girls helped too, dutifully bringing the trays and beverages, and asking about every single one of them. Even now it was hard to get Earth supplies, so most of the food seemed terribly new to them.

"Can I have what papa had?" Mila asked, seeing how less cold her father looked now.

"Whiskey?" Miles choked at the question.

“Not for 20 years or so.” Julian told her with a small smile. “But you can have more hot chocolate and some cookies.”

They ate and talked as if time hadn't really passed and they were still on DS9, laughing and planning their next holo adventure, with Julian still thinking his medical stories were funny, retelling them with all the dramatics he could muster.

"... and then, then, he comes and says... but it's just a mole!" 

Silence fell on the table, aside from an uncomfortable cough from Miles.

"My love, I think you should point to them what is the moment they should laugh." Garak said, poking him on the side.

“It’s when I say mole.” Julian sighed in defeat, pressing one hand under his chin. “So tragic that none of you went to medical school. It'd be hilarious if you did."

"He always says that." Galin called from the couch, wrinkling her nose.

As midnight approached, they all bundled together close to the fire, the only light on the room coming from the movie being projected on the wall. 

It was, curiously, a Cardassian one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "burning dolls" comes from a tradition from Argentina, where Aidaran lives: https://weekend.perfil.com/noticias/turismo/tradicion-en-la-plata-quema-de-munecos-en-las-primera-hora-del-2021.phtml . Also, as you may imagine, we on the south tend to eat colder things, with many of us even adopting the idea of eating sushi for Christmas (the Cardassian equivalent may be eating fish rolls, maybe?). We tried to make Cardassia the kind of place that recently adopted a tradition, and is still trying to find their own way of doing things, mixing what they see their neighbors do with their own ideas, until it becomes their own festivity, about the things they care about.
> 
> Comments and kudos are love!


	9. Getting older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is not too thrilled about turning 50. The thing is, the Cardassians in his household refuse to let him sulk and suffer in peace.
> 
> _Julian’s voice sounded muffled through the thick walls of the studio. It was not his , it was Garak’s, but it was the darkest and most isolated room in the house, so it felt fitting. “I have full faith that you can handle a 12 year old and an 8 year old by yourself for one day. One day. That’s all I ask for.”_
> 
> _"I can handle them, but I really don't enjoy watching them be terrified of what they've done for their dad to be angry."_

Julian heard a knock on his door, loud and a little angry. What part of  _ leave me the hell alone _ wasn’t clear? “Go away, Garak.”

Garak’s voice sounded annoyingly cheerful, although there was a slight edge to it. It would’ve been pretty chilling, if hadn’t Julian known he was completely harmless to his family. "Risking reminding you why you're in this state, I must tell you that you're now a grown up man with two daughters, so you don't have the luxury of tantrums anymore."

Julian’s voice sounded muffled through the thick walls of the studio. It was not  _ his _ , it was Garak’s, but it was the darkest and most isolated room in the house, so it felt fitting. “I have full faith that you can handle a 12 year old and an 8 year old by yourself for one day. One day. That’s all I ask for.”

"I can handle them, but I really don't enjoy watching them be terrified of what they've done for their dad to be angry."

Damned Garak. Why did he have to play that particular card on him? A man as creative as he was couldn't come up with a story for the girls to be distracted and happy?

“I’m not angry! Did you explain I’m merely ... in need of some alone time?” Julian asked with a low sigh as he brushed a hand across his hair. His ever greying hair. "I just hate this date, and I hate this number!"

"Yes, I did! but then they asked why you couldn't be the one telling them this. Do you think they're that oblivious? Even when you’re mad at me or at work, you don’t lock yourself out in this place. The only times you've done that, it was because of  _ real _ tragedies."

“I ... fine. I’ll tell them and they’ll think I’m a fool. Happy?” Julian sighed and pushed the door open, shaking his head a little. He knew this was stupid, he really did. But he was turning 50, so he had the right to be stupid from time to time.

"Not only that. You will listen to what they planned for your birthday and you'll consider it.” He cut Julian short as the younger man tried to argue, putting his finger on his lips. “Remember what we promised. That we'd be better than our parents."

“Yes, yes, of course.” Julian sighed as he came into the living room, expression softening when he saw Galin and Mila sitting together on the couch, tousled hair and excited expressions on their faces. It was obvious they were planning something, as it was almost impossible to get them to stand still for more than a minute.

"We found something waaaaay older than you." Mila started, a bit hissy now she was losing her front teeth.

“Did you? I’m impressed. I thought pappa was the only thing older than me.” He gritted his teeth, and repeated to himself he had to be better than his parents had been. That he couldn't hope a child raised by him would have any measure of subtlety.

"I said don't mention age! You always ruin my plans!" Galin whispered to her sister, annoyed, crossing her arms against her chest. "And  _ we  _ didn't find it. Uncle Miles did. He sent it to us."

“Uncle Miles? You’ve been working with him then?” Julian shook his head as Mila jumped to his side and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly as she led him over to the couch, as Galin kneeled and took a bag full of sweets that was apparently hidden under it.

"My dear, you have Cardassian children, what did you expect? They've been plotting this for months." Garak was ridiculously proud. There were many things he wanted to change in his homeland, but still, children being sneaky and able to carry a complex plan was a skill he valued.

"Uncle Miles sent it but  _ we _ had the idea!" Mila insisted. 

“And Galin here got in charge of the... supplies.” Garak smiled, gesturing at the wide array of candies.

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less of my two girls. Now what’s going on?” Julian asked with a wide grin as he sat down on the couch. To think he was about to miss this just because he was feeling old. Garak was right, they ought to be better, for these children.

"Earth has a looooot of old things." Mila insisted with a very serious nod, her eyes wide. 

"Don't say old!" Galin was angry. "You like... um... Ancient movies."

“Ah yes, ancient movies.” Julian answered as he swallowed back a laugh, glancing at Garak out of the corner of his eye. He was not sure ancient was better than old, considering they were talking about his age.

"But very respectful! Ancient and... Digni... Dig... Pappa, what was that word?" Galin continued, glancing at Garak out of the corner of his eye. 

"Dignified, my dear. I told you to call him dignified, not old."

“I’m sure, and you two went and found out my favorites?” Julian asked as he leaned on his elbows, feeling touched in spite of himself. Just how much planning had been going on behind his back?

He'd gotten several Earth movies for his collection over the years, but it was not an easy task with the XX century ones, and he missed some of his favorite old ones.

"It was easy. Pappa knowed aaaaall the movies you like." Mila told him with her arms spread out wide. 

"The hard part was getting movies we didn’t have at home. But pappa and Miles helped us." Galin added with a proud grin, looking pleased with herself. “I made a list of all we have.”

“Yes, yes. I’ve made him watch quite a few over the years, and some I couldn’t bring here to watch again.” Julian mused as he sat the girls down. “And now I’m going to share them with both of you.”

He trusted — or at least hoped — that Garak and Miles chose family friendly ones.

"Pappa says they are alllll with music and dances and people being funny." Mila cried excitedly, practically bouncing on her feet. "And with shoes that make noises!"

“And goofy spies!” Galin giggled at the idea, and not for the first time Julian was glad she found spies more ridiculous than enchanting.

“Tap dancing? Spies? Oh, pappa did choose some classics. Now which one shall we start with?”

"This one!" Mila grabbed a film rod with the text upside down, not knowing what it was but happy anyway.

“Ah, quite a fine choice.” Julian smiled as he started the holo program of a Bond’s film. He was sure Garak would hate it, and he had it coming, for tricking him into stopping his brooding. “And will pappa be joining us?”

"When I finish making the corn explode." He chimed from the kitchen. "See, girls? I told you, dad never notices anything when you're preparing a surprise. We could have a pink targ with braids delivered and he'd just sign the receipt without blinking."

“I would’ve noticed that, if only because I’d be shocked you got a new pet without me begging.” Julian called as he spread a blanket across the girls, saving the other for him and Garak. “But I have to admit I didn’t suspect a thing.”

Partially because Garak had agreed not to plan anything for his birthday this time, which he  _ technically _ kept to. They’ve known each other for 27 years, and still Garak managed to find the loopholes in any promise he made. And Julian fell for it every single time.

"My dear, you really wouldn't notice it either. You made it so easy for the girls and me."

“Hmm, are you implying I’m oblivious?” Julian made a face of mock offense. “I’ll have you know that I was once recruited to be a spy.”

"Maybe, but unless it's medicine or something you're really interested in, you tend to not pay attention to anything." Garak sat at his side, and Mila rushed to sit on his lap and get a handful of popcorn, stretching her bare toes once she was comfortable.

“That’s what I have you for.” Julian said as he sturdied Mila, the movie suddenly coming to life in front of them as people chased each other across the screen.

"And to remind you to live in the present, as well." Garak said, rearranging Galin's hair into a Cardassian bun. He gave Julian a knowing smile, reaching over to brush his free hand against his cheek. Julian sighed in a defeat he really didn’t mind; it was a perfect birthday after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love!


	10. Federation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls are a lot more thrilled about being part of the Federation and exploring space than Garak and Julian are.
> 
> _"She's 15, she's the same age you were when you enlisted. She's older than me when I was sent to the Institute to have my childhood and innocence crushed. She'll be fine, she had the best of us both. And the Federation won’t break her in pieces and assemble her back again as they did with me. She’ll be safe."_
> 
> _“You were far too young and I was a prodigy running away from parents I couldn’t stand. Galin didn’t have to grow up the way you did or even how I did. She has everything here!” Julian rambled in spite of himself, arms crossed against his chest. He knew it was selfish, but their childhood seemed to be slipping between his fingers without any way of stopping it. “And Mila is already dreaming of leaving home too.”_
> 
> _"No, they both were luckier than us, which is why we owe them to believe in them and support them in their desires. Unlike us, they're choosing their destiny by themselves, no rearrangement of their minds to fit their parents’ wishes, and I'm sure they'll end up calling home every night, since they still are the same little girls deep down."_

"Daddy! Dad!" The girls rushed inside the house, mud on the older and hair on the younger one faces. Their eyes were lit up, which was always a sign of trouble. Galin was carrying Mila’s shoes in one of her hands, both of them grinning far too widely. "Guess what papa did!" 

“Hopefully not anything that will give me a headache.” Julian said dryly as he gave them both a quick hug. Nothing good ever came from those words, not with Elim. "And hopefully nothing illegal either."

"He did it!" Galin cried out, practically bouncing on her feet as she threw her arms out. "There are lots of Starfleet ships in the sky! Today we’re officially joining the Federation!"

"Even Voyager-B is there! I want to be in that one when I grow!" Mila added with a bright smile.

“The one that ended up lost for half a decade? I’d prefer it if you chose a less risky one.” Julian said softly, shaking his head in mild disbelief.

"No, no, that was the first Voyager, the 74656. The captain then was Janeway, but now this one will be part of a fleet exploring the Delta quadrant following captain Chakotay. Dax is her Captain!" Mila jumped from one foot to another. She still was the nightmare of all shoes, but she was starting to sound like Julian, shooting data off too fast for anyone to follow.

“Really? How nice, I haven’t seen Ezri in months.” Julian murmured thoughtfully as he crossed the room, to put away a few of his books and to hide his churning emotions. What about Starfleet was so appealing to them? Was it for him? When had the presence of ships stopped being exciting?

"They say, they say, that she's going to get a five year mission soon!" Mila spun on her feet. "Imagine having to fix a ship for a whole five years, making sure there's always air and water and power and, and! Going where nobody went before, so you have to do it all yourself! And in the Delta Quadrant!"

“And never again seeing your beloved fathers.” Julian said dramatically as he placed a hand over his heart.

"What are subspace comms for, then?" Galin said dismissively. She was 15 now, and the teen disdain was a skill she was working hard on. "And  _ I _ won't be that far away. I want to study Qo'nos flora."

“That is a bit closer, though I imagine you’ll start to miss your papa's cooking once you try the gagh. Speaking of which, where is Elim?”

"He's finishing up the details of the deal and then, then, he will come home to take us see the vessels, and then he will pass the Castellan mantle to Rugal!"

Mila's nervous energy was so like Julian's when he was young, the man couldn't help feeling old. She was just about to enter her teens, her 11 years meaning she hadn't grown her ridges yet, but was close to that already. Soon she'd be the right age to choose where to study. Garak had sworn no kid of his would be taken to an institute unless they requested it directly, but it seemed the girls would follow their dad's steps and join Starfleet.

“Of course. Well, tell him to come see me in my office, I need to finish some paperwork before we go anywhere.”

"Don't be boring, dad. Come with us see the ships!" they both pulled on his hands, trying to get him to go outside. Lately he had a tendency to quieter moods and they were just not ready to let him, not when the Federation was finally there.

“I’ve seen them before, dears. I didn’t mean the whole day, just until your father arrives.”

"You can never see too many ships!" Mila pouted as she tugged on his sleeve again. "Papa says there will be too many people so we can't go alone. Please?"

“Fine, but only so we can meet your papa.” Julian sighed in defeat as he let himself be dragged outside and towards the ships.

The skies really seemed to be covered in ships, the insignia of every planet there to receive their newest member flashing. Some were old, refitted ones, like the Defiant, still working but in their last few days. Others were young and new, like Voyager-B, just entering the atmosphere to land on the government building and be the host of the treaty ceremony.

"She's so shiny." Galin's eyes sparkled as she walked with her head turned to the skies, and once again Julian wondered why it seemed like it was something from another life. "Don't you miss space, dad?"

That was what he himself had been wondering since Garak told him about the negotiations to join the Federation. What he imagined would make him excited, willing to go on one last adventure, had instead only excited him about the chance of getting better medical supplies, easier communication across subspace to his loved ones, maybe an easier way to get old holomovies for his collection. But adventure? That was not for him anymore.

“I’m not sure. Space was somewhere I ran to, but not even there I was usually rooted to one spot.” Julian mused as he scanned the crowd for his husband, in case he was trapped into a shaking hands nightmare loop. They had a few hours before the ceremony to hand over the Castellan position to Rugal, and he’d like to talk to Garak alone at some point before that.

"But what about the adventures? the people? all the weird space ghosts and plants and salt demons and all that?" They walked to the government building, the girls never taking their eyes off of the sky.

“Salt demons? I don’t think we had anything quite like that. We haven't had one reported in over 100 years.” Julian scoffed as he shook his head, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. He finally caught sight of Garak across the room, making a grand gesture at someone, tail shaking slightly as he tried to hide how much he despised the man.

"No, no, but the first Five Year Mission of the Enterprise met one! they also met gangsters and, and, and, flying people! And a floating president! Also they..." Mila kept recounting all the things the Enterprise had encountered as they approached Garak.

“Yes, and I met founders and vorta.” Julian murmured as he brushed a hand over his hair, sliding his hand into Garak’s. He leaned in, smiling softly. “Any chance we could get a few minutes alone, dear?”

"Of course. I'll let Rugal handle the disaster around us while we have a few minutes for ourselves. Certainly I could use some time away from all the people who suddenly fancy themselves my best friends."

“Lovely. Girls, don’t get into any trouble.” Julian called as he guided them to look at a collection of awards and Federation memorabilia sent over for the ceremony. “You might see uncle Miles’ name somewhere in there.”

Mila turned around, her eyes sparkling as she grabbed Galin’s arm. They were practically already about to run off. "Can we do the starships tour? can we can we?"

“Of course. Your father and I will be in the back room if you need us.”

"We won't!" They shouted and sprinted in the opposite direction of where Julian had pointed.

“Are you sure we should let the chaos run around like that?” Garak whispered as they walked, grinning at the screaming and running girls’ backs.

Julian led Garak into the back room, letting out ,a sigh as he ran a hand across Garak’s hair. “Too bad we couldn’t get you out of that job before all your hair went gray.”

"I don't regret it. It means I lived a full life and now I'm ready to retire."

“Hmm, so now I’m our only breadwinner?” Julian murmured as he stole a quick kiss.

"Things will change with the arrival of the Federation and the abandon of the capitalistic system, so don't fancy yourself our sole provider just yet, my dear. You may find yourself with time on your hands when you least expect it."

“Of course, but the federation won’t be able to redo the system overnight.” Julian teased softly as he stole another quick kiss. “But besides, you’ll happily retire and the children will go off to Starfleet and I’ll spend my hours on paperwork and research.”

"Or maybe, you could retire as well and enjoy the seasons under our trees as I work on the orchard."

“Retire? Already?” Julian looked a bit surprised at the idea, shaking his head a bit. “A bit young, aren’t I?”

"Maybe, but I was thinking about building you a place to see patients in our house, so we can spend more time together. I think we’ve worked enough to enjoy time together before we’re too wrinkled."

“That does sound nice. So I’d work a few hours in the day and that’s all?”

"Knowing you, at least 6 hours, but then you could come to the shadow with me on slow days and drink juice directly from the fruits. And maybe walk to the Ancestors Park in the afternoons."

“That does sound lovely. I didn’t know you’d gotten a juicer.” Julian sighed as he leaned in and stole one last quick kiss. He felt old, thinking those things sounded attractive. “So are you implying you think I work too much?”

"I don't imply it, I say it every day and you don't pay attention." He gave a dramatic sigh, squeezing Julian’s hand as he pulled him closer. "But I think you wanted to talk about something else."

“I wanted to talk about the kids and, well. A little bit this, or related to this anyway.” Julian admitted somewhat sheepishly. “I’m worried we’re getting ...”

"Old? ah, yes, you spent so much time thinking about getting old, now we're really greying it is terrifying. And soon our girls will leave home, won't they? Galin is counting the days to enter the fleet."

“It’s too soon! She’s a child.” Julian cried, turning to pace the small space of Garak’s now empty office. Well, soon to be Rugal’s office. 

Elim always knew what was bothering Julian. And now, with the arrival of Starfleet, it wouldn’t just be a special recruit, as Nog had been, but probably one of many Cardassians that would enlist, so the reality of his older girl leaving soon was hitting him. Where had the last 11 years gone, when had the little girl who was afraid of the roof falling on her to become a confident teenager?

"She's 15, she's the same age you were when you enlisted. She's older than me when I was sent to the Institute to have my childhood and innocence crushed. She'll be fine, she had the best of us both. And the Federation won’t break her in pieces and assemble her back again as they did with me. She’ll be safe."

“You were far too young and I was a prodigy running away from parents I couldn’t stand. Galin didn’t have to grow up the way you did or even how I did. She has everything here!” Julian rambled in spite of himself, arms crossed against his chest. He knew it was selfish, but their childhood seemed to be slipping between his fingers without any way of stopping it. “And Mila is already dreaming of leaving home too.”

Garak stopped Julian's pacing, putting his hands on his shoulders. "No, they both were luckier than us, which is why we owe them to believe in them and support them in their desires. Unlike us, they're choosing their destiny by themselves, no rearrangement of their minds to fit their parents’ wishes, and I'm sure they'll end up calling home every night, since they still are the same little girls deep down."

“I - yes, but they’ll be so far away. I considered taking a position on Earth and suggesting you teach at the academy, maybe political sciences, but it’s been so long since I was in Starfleet I’m not entirely sure they’d recommission me.”

"I'm sure they would, especially if the former Castellan came as well, but do you really want that? or you want to stay here, helping the people you already know, living a slower life?"

Julian sighed, feeling defeated and just a bit silly. Yes, they had friends. More and more people came to visit them for holidays, or even in the afternoons for a cup of tea. The slowly growing human community in the city loved Julian’s weekly movie meetings, everybody waved at them on the streets, thankful to have them helping the community. The shops around them always had vegetarian food to accomodate for him, and there was an old lady who delivered flowers to his office every week to thank him for saving her granddaughter. Parmak was uncle Parmak for the girls, and lately Cardassia felt more like a home than any other place they’d ever lived.

Julian smiled sheepishly, accepting the truth in spite of himself. Yes, he wouldn’t be happy to follow his girls to Earth, and they needed to carve a path for themselves. “You’ll have to be patient with me. Slowing down isn’t something I’ve tried before.”

"Of course. But if I was able to educate these two children of the chaos, certainly I can educate you as well. Don’t forget I managed to teach you to cook in the end." Garak reminded him with a small smirk, glancing around the perimeter both for signs of danger and anything he might’ve left behind in his office.

“Hmm, maybe. And that idea of spending the mornings watching you garden does sound rather lovely.”

Garak picked up one last trinket, some piece of pottery Mila had made for him. They never had figured out what it was supposed to be. Julian supposed that meant this chapter of their life really was closed. "And then the nights talking to our girls as they tell us how they get closer to their dreams, drinking the tea we grew in our own backyard. Making them miss our homemade sweets."

“Yes, yes, accomplishing more and more as we enter our twilight years. Telling us about all the wonders of space we don’t care about anymore.” Julian couldn’t help grinning at the thought, gazing down a his husband warmly.

"See? I spent almost 30 years trying to convince you about how getting older wasn't so bad."

“Yes, and I’m still on the fence about it.” Julian poked Garak on the chest with his index finger, trying and failing to fight off a smile.

"Yes, but without the years we spent here, we wouldn't have our girls, our home, our friends or our garden. We wouldn’t have our planet."

Julian flicked him playfully on the nose. “No, no, we wouldn’t. And you wouldn’t have all those distinguished lines around your eyes.”

"I'm proud of every one of them. They prove I lived."

“Yes, you’ve had quite the life. Castellan, father, hero of Cardassia.” Julian moved closer with each word, brushing one hand along the ridges on his neck.

"And what about the doctor that left everything behind to come with me to rebuild?"

“Hmm, well, I think he found happiness supporting a great man and his lovely daughters.”

Garak took his hands, his expression getting suddenly serious. "You didn't just support us. You worked hard for all three of us, not to mention you dragged me to the orphanage that one day to see the two kids that had been rescued."

“You were lonely. You were practically growing a plant child.”

He joined his chufa to Julian’s forehead. The intimacy and trust of the gesture still made him feel moved, amazed at the things he’d gotten he’d never imagined he would. "Maybe. But it was you who realized that was what we were longing for, not me."

“Yes, but you’re the one who convinced me to take go for the head of the medical department here even after the relief period was over. I wouldn’t have had such wonderful years if I hadn’t been there.”

"My, it seems we're at a stalemate here, aren't we?"

“Yes, yes. We’ll just have to accept that we’re like each other and that we both make the other happy.”

"And that we're both getting old?" Garak asked as he raised eye ridge, sounding just a touch smug. 

“I prefer to see it as growing more refined.”

"I may be rubbing on you, despite all your protests. So, shall we go check on our girls before they become stowaways in some ship?"

“Yes, yes. It would be embarrassing if Ezri had to come bring them back.” Julian grinned as he took Garak’s arm, leaning into him. His husband always knew what to say to ease his fear of change.

"Though sadly, given our kids antecedents, not surprising at all." 

“No, they’ve never been ones for rules.” Julian chuckled as they walked back into the exhibit, glancing around the room for Galin and Mila.

It took them a while to locate them, but they ended up searching for them inside the Voyager-B just as they imagined they would. How they had managed to sneak there, the engineers all had no idea, giving them their most innocent stares when questioned. Garak really admired them for being able to withstand his glare for so long without breaking.

Julian shook his head as he ruffled Mila’s hair. “You’re still at least 3 years out from the academy, dear. If you want to see a warp core, you need to ask first.  _ Your parents _ , not the captain.” He added when she seemed about to argue.

"Never too early to learn. Isn't that what papa says whenever he recites his boooring, boring poetry?"

“It is, though I happen to be fond of at least a few of those poems. Though don’t tell him that.” Julian admitted with a sheepish smile. “Now where did that sister of yours get off too?”

"I believe captain Dax is showing her the hydroponics bay."

“Of course. She did say she wanted to see the plants they brought back from the Delta quadrant. You two really did both take after your papa.”

"Hey! I take after you too. I will be a machine doctor. And I love memorizing data."

“Yes, though you know your papa knows how to be a doctor to machines too.” Julian grinned and wondered if now was a good time to tell the story of how Garak saved them from a dominion prison again.

They found Galin wide eyed at the side of captain Dax, exploring the hydroponics and shooting off thousands of questions at once to the botanist in charge of the area. Despite Julian's protests, she truly looked like him when he was young, eager to learn and to impress.

Garak grinned fondly at her, watching as her hands moved through the air excitedly, her complete lack of self consciousness strangely touching, so non Cardassian and yet so familiar to him. He squeezed Julian’s hand, and entwined their fingers. “I think she’ll be okay.”

"But I still will miss her terribly."

“Of course, and so will I. But one of the most bittersweet parts of being a parent is that eventually you have to let your children fly.” Garak said as he watched his two girls fondly, both of them so excited for the future in a way he’d never gotten to be at their age.

"Quite literally in this case, with them going to Starfleet."

“Yes, though I’m glad that neither of them want to be a pilot. That seems quite dangerous, with how much your science vessels suddenly end up in the middle of fights.” Garak clucked a bit as he remembered all the times Julian or Miles or someone else went missing during their time on Deep Space 9. 

"Oh, my dear tailor, now they are  _ our  _ science vessels. You're part of the Federation too, remember?"

“Yes, yes. How unfortunate.” Garak answered with a low sigh, shaking his head at the idea. It still all seemed so impossible.

"Who may be responsible for such a bad decision? Poor Cardassia, having to mix with Starfleet and the sort."

“Yes, truly some sentimental fool remembering his time in the Federation messed things up with this treaty.” Julian scoffed as he glanced over at Garak out of the corner of his eye.

"Curious, I thought that fool had hated it and used to hang with a ferengi to criticize everybody around him."

“He did at first, but then he met a striking young human with so much beauty and charisma, not even he could resist him. And he discovered their beer was awful, but maybe their people weren't.”

"10 years since the last time we were together in the same room and you are still at it?" Ezri approached them, shaking her head. The world seemed to stop existing for both of them when they were together.

“He never stops. It’s quite tiring.”

"Yes, I can only imagine how bad it is for your ego." Ezri hugged them both, grinning brightly as she pat them both on the shoulders. "So, your youngest wants to be my responsibility in a few years?"

“I’m afraid she caught the engineering bug from her uncle Miles. She says he’s the cool one, while we’re the boring parents.”

"How terrible." She shook her head, still smiling. "What about you? Still no plans to go back into space?"

“Not at the moment. Elim wants me to retire, though he won’t quite come out and say it.”

Garak raised an eye ridge, tilting his head sideways with a hint of smirk. "Ah, I told you that almost half an hour ago, my dear. Have you forgotten already?"

“Hmm, maybe I have, in my old age. You’ll have to get a younger partner if you want them to remember every little thing you say.”

"But then I'd have to home break that new partner, as I did with you. I really don't think it's worth the effort."

“Hmm, what a pity. It would’ve been nice to have someone around the house to help me with the chores.” Julian shook his head, making a put upon expression as he grabbed Garak’s hand. 

"Hey, guys, I'm still here." Ezri snorted. "Have some decency."

“Apologizes, Ezri.” Julian turned to her with a wide smile.

"Papa, come see these plants! I  _ so  _ need them in our garden!" Galin pulled Garak's hand with excitement, dragging him and talking as fast as Julian as she showed him around.

“Of course, of course. Maybe we can get some seeds.” Garak said fondly as he examined them with her. “Do you think this particular one would go well with our soil?”

“I think you may have to add iron to the soil for the root to...”

"I really can't wait to give Dax new memories with the Garak-Bashir girls." Ezri grinned at the thought.

Julian shook his head a bit, a small smirk at the corner of his mouth. “Who would’ve thought so many generations of Daxes and Bashir’s would be friends?”

"Not to mention Garaks. Who knows, maybe your grandchildren will be in the same ship as the next Dax too."

“That very well could be, though sadly only Dax will know about it.” Julian mused with a shake of his head.

"You're not that old yet, Julian. You'll get to meet one more generation."

“True, and by that time I’ll actually have to retire when Garak asks me too.”

"Maybe. But I think it's time for you to take things slower and realize you're more than just your job."

“Dax, if I hadn’t led the relief and recovery effort on Cardassia, the amount of lives lost would’ve been staggering. The future research on the possibility of radiation based -“ she cut him off with a look.

"Yes, but you’re also a human being, and you're valuable just because of that, not only because of your achievements. He may be right, you need to slow down and look at the amazing life you built for you and your family."

Mila snuck away discreetly, seeing all the adults were busy. They knew where to find her, anyway, so it wasn’t really a problem. Besides, this would be where they always found her once she got to live the life she wanted. Among machines, as her uncle Miles, fixing them and being a hero just like B’elanna Torres.

Julian noticed Mila sneaking off and shared a knowing look with Ezri, before going back to their conversation. “I ... maybe. It’s hard, even after all this time, to think that I have value outside of them.”

"Even when you look at how soft your husband became, and how happy your children are?"

“Those are their accomplishments, not mine.” Julian grinned, tone fond as he stole a look at where Elim and Galin were examining some brightly colored flowers.

"Are they? do any of us really live alone and without others affecting our lives?"

“Maybe not, but they couldn’t have grown — Garak especially — unless they were open to it.”

"Undoubtedly, but they wouldn't have grown if you hadn't been at their side. Being open isn’t always enough. Sometimes you need love to realize how to become your better self."

Julian grinned sheepishly, leaning in as he gave her a fond look. “Maybe, but then I wouldn’t have grown either. I wasn’t my best self when I met Garak. Not even close.”

"No, but he was at your side to help you become your best self, and you for him to become his. It goes both ways."

“Maybe. I wonder who we’d have ended up as if we hadn’t met.”

"Probably, you’d both have been less happy." Ezri said bluntly, shrugging her shoulders a bit when Julian looked up, slightly startled. 

“I know I would be. I can’t imagine having married anyone else.”

"Curious, the Julian Jadzia met couldn't imagine himself committing to anybody." Ezri reminded him with a hint of a smirk. Julian gave her a bemused smile. Those days really did seem like another lifetime now.

“I certainly wasn’t ready to commit when I met Dax, I was so young then.”

"You were young, but you also had a lot to work on improving about yourself. And also I remember you moving in with Garak just 3 years after you said that. Now you really are the man she knew you could be."

“Yes, though apparently she didn’t have much faith in my ability to become that man. She treated me like a child more than once.” Julian teased Dax, though there was no heat behind his voice. He suspected the worm barely saw him as an adult now.

"Oh, but isn't it wonderful to prove a 300 years old worm wrong?"

“A bit, even if it hurts to know that worm thought so little of me.” Julian mockingly glared at Ezri's stomach.

"Well, the worm was very worried about you, if that helps." Ezri told him, jokingly patting the place where Dax sat inside of her. 

“It does a little. Hopefully that worm realized they were wrong.”

She hugged him again. "And is very proud of you."

“I’m proud of them too, it must have been hard switching hosts so early on in the process.”

"Daxes are used to that. But we're not talking about Dax, we're talking about Julian Bashir, of whom I am very proud, and so is Dax, just as Jadzia was." She gave him a kiss in the cheek and glanced at Garak, discreetly tucking some seeds and a full grown plant inside his pockets. "Now go get your family back before they destroy  _ my  _ ship."

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Julian called as he started walking toward them, gaze fond as Mila ran over to tell Elim and Galin something. No, space wasn’t for him anymore when there was so much on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we got to the end! it was a real journey, and we didn't know where it would take us when we first started.
> 
> We really want to read what you thought of it!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are love!


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